Welcome to Eastern Ontario – this year where the snow is plentiful and society is awesome!!

These past few days have seen me watch my small town come together the likes I have not see since COVID.

We got a shit ton of snow and I do mean SHIT TON- 70cms'(35 inches for my American friends) that typically would bring people to their knees – but not us – this is a true “hold my beer moment”.

My better half (and truly he is) is a heavy equipment mechanic so essentially I have not seen him since last Thursday when this bullshit started.

I know he’s been home because the plates of food that I have left for him are eaten.

Once again – I have become a “farm widow”.

Eating meals alone and doing all chores “por mi cuenta”.

I am super thankful for my across the road neighbors son for clearing a path for us – he’s the best.

I am dumbfounded that an Amazon driver actually delivered a package yesterday WHEN I expressly messaged them and told them not to. NOTE – I gave him tea and cookies.

I am (toot toot) impressed with my own damn fortitude in keeping this dump running.

Side note – when I went to dig out and feed chickens (who are faring well) and ducks -I noted one duck short and panicked.

How in the ever luvin’ hell does a duck get out of an enclosed box??

Well – on me – looks like I missed putting her away on Friday so that poor girl has been outside since Friday in this shit and gross.

She is none the worse for wear I promise – but took me on a merry chase through hip deep snow after I tried to catch her but alas – I won that chase and she is snugged up with the others.

These past few days have me and us questioning what in the actual heckin’ heck we are still doing – doing this insanity of shoveling paths and trudging?

Hubs will retire this year 100%!!!!

My dearest daughter and crew are off to the DR for some very well deserved fun in the sun and as I track their flight (cause yes that is what I do) I long for sunnier days and bugs and mud.

All of which I will curse when they come.

For now – I’ll go shovel another path.

Moving on to tomorrow.

Stay warm and drive safe.

As we wrap up 2024 – I honestly cannot say it’s been a bad year…has it been a good year? – meh…but what constitutes a good year really?

It was not 2020 OR 2021 OR 2022 or even 2023.

We were fully released (for the most part) from the shackles of our COVID journey – well done ya’ll.

I still did not test positive for COVID – not once so there is that.

Some stuff happened – nothing ground breaking or life ending.

I spent a small fortune on Boomer insuring his longevity and my sanity (he’s my buddy).

Grand babies are good with the exception of the germs and disease that seem to follow their every turn.

I still have a roof, food, family and amazing friends.

Overall – a mediocre year.

Mediocracy is good – it is steady and sure.

BUT with this comes boredom and the itch to change – to move to shake it up.

I have deemed for myself 2025 to be the year of change.

Change in what? Not a friggin’ clue BUT change.

I would like to see Hubs retire – health situations and the grind are weighing on him so yes – I’d like to see that.

For me – stay tuned.

Happy New Year to all – may it be prosperous and full of joy and change and fun!!!

As a pet/livestock owner – we all grapple with time.

Time to feed, time to clean, time to make hay etc.

It is not for the faint of heart as it is dirty and muddy and expensive!!!

SOOOOO EXPENSIVE!!!

And as a pet/livestock owner – we are often faced with the inevitable – when is it “time?”

By time, I don’t mean time to feed or what not – but when is it time to make the hard call, the shitty decision to call it and do what is best for the animal.

I am a prudent gal.

I do not squander my money on silly things – well some silly things – I do like things like clothes and manicures and silly things like that.

I am budget minded for the most part.

With the expense of Boomers ongoing health issues – I need to sit and realistically think about the “time”.

I have put it off somewhat – Boomer is my best friend – different than Trigger who was my bestest friend – it’s a different connection that Boomer and I have.

Boomer should have never been my horse. When we got Boomer he was the biggest asshole. I almost gave up on him – at that point – he was not worth the “time” it would take to get him to be more a model citizen.

He was pushy, naughty, a real jerk BUT over time and with patience he has turned into one of the most stellar horses I have ever had the privilege of being able to partner with.

I took the time and worked with him and his shitty manners and it was WORK – time and time again I told myself – what have I gotten myself into?

BUT during that time I got to know him- to trust him- every look – step – side eye and mood and in turn – he got to know me – every look – step and side eye and mood.

We bonded.

Boomer is a “one owner” kinda guy – he tolerates people – he LOVES the grand kids and is gentle as a lamb with them but he tests me every day with silly things and that is what makes him a part of my soul.

Boomer knows when I’ve had a shit day and tests me even more. He keeps me on my toes. He is neither mean nor dirty – just a bit of a jerk but only to me cause he knows that he has my heart.

So, when is it “time”?

It is hard to gauge when that “time” is – on one hand Boomer is a perfectly functioning eating/drinking/pooping butt head yet on the other hand – he is struggling with lameness issues.

You know what they say??? “No hoof – no horse”.

For now – we will mark time – count time – ignore it a bit but in the back of mind I sometimes hear – tick tick tick and then know I will need to make that ever depressing decision to decide – it’s time.

But right now – we have time.

Scrolling through socials this evening – I am seeing a common theme on feeds.

It would seem that everyone in my circle is experiencing windy conditions.

She’s been howling all day and still blasting around.

I don’t much care for wind.

I do love the fact that it’s drying up all the rain we have had in the past couple of days.

April showers bring May flowers but that rain can piss off now – my paddock was dry not a week ago.

This is not about rain though (I’ll get to that another day) this is about the wind.

Wind can be almost destructive as rain doncha know??

All of the trees that have just come out of winter slumber are wet from rain (damn rain) and their branches are not hardened by the summer sun yet so they are still delicate and their tiny buds are just starting to pop to give us those lush leafy oxygen producing goodness.

And then that bitch wind comes about and does the damage of blowing and breaking those fragile new branches and wreaking havoc on the trees that have no doubt stood for years before me sometimes.

The Weeping Willow is a hardy tree for the most part.

Their life span is not of the oak or other hardwood trees but they I think they are much more adaptable to windy conditions.The Willow can live 30 years – up to 50 if cared for which begs the question as to how the hell do you take care of a 20 foot tall Willow – but I digress.

To me the Willow is the strongest most delicate tree. They are prone to disease and insects but they carry on – they get knocked down but they get back up. While they break – they bend more. They are tenacious – tough but fragile.

Willows remind me of humans – we are strong but fragile – prone to disease (ok maybe not insects) they get knocked down but get back up and they bend and sometimes break. They are tenacious, tough and incredibly fragile.

I know this tree – I have sat under this tree – this tree has been through ALOT and I can tell you – that this tree will be ok – this tree is tough and might be a little bent and broken – but this tree will bounce back. The foundation of this tree is strong – stronger than al ot of other trees I have sat under.

I love this tree…

Hard to believe another Easter has come and gone.

It is March 31st and we are experiencing such spring like weather – winter is a distant memory.

Winter to us was “kind” these past few months – and by kind I mean it was not as cold as witch’s under carriage – snow was not as deep as the telephone poles and driving stupidity not as stupid as years past.

Dare I say that Spring has sprung?

I still keep my snow brush in the car cause I ain’t jinxing nothing – take that bad boy out and BOOM 25 cms of snow no doubt.

BUT we are seeing the ass end of the dreaded BS me thinks and I surely hope so.

The Bocks are out mostly in their warmer weather accommodations – with some grass poking thru.

Trees are exploding with new life and I even saw a crocus in bloom today.

All my fave birds are back – Rudy (Robin) Timber Doodle (ya it’s a bird – look it up) and Charles and Alicia (Cardinals nesting) – damn Starlings (Invasive bastards) have taken over the barn. Oh Barn Swallows – not back yet – soon I think.

Easter was quiet this year – everyone has schedules and things to do – but managed to cook an epic feast with left overs for days.

Hubs and I got a TON done this weekend – in the amazing sunshine.

Good days ahead – yes – the darkness of 2023 is waning and looking ahead to sunshiny 2024.

So friends- kick this year in it’s sunshiny ass and embrace the temps – Mother Nature gonna rain down a mishmosh of odd weather!!!!

This will be a very tongue in cheek post as I have raised two kids – like 30 plus years ago- BUT looking thru the eyes of my daughter and being – I would like to say hands on “GG” – these are my thoughts…experiences…musings…stuff.

The “rules” for raising children in this time and space have changed exponentially since my time as a mother.

In no particular order going back to when my grand daughter was born in 2018 – WTF is “baby led weaning?” I believe came out my mouth when my daughter mentioned it.

This is the process where the parent essentially “dumps” (infant sized select pieces) of food in front of said child and then they have at it. Like a dinner at Medieval times sort of.

This introduces new foods – gives the child a chance to pick different textures and flavours.

Warning it is NOT for the faint of heart as you soon learn the difference between a gag and a choke and realistically- my grandkids have a WAY more advanced pallet than my children did being raised on Chef Boyardee and hot dogs. Hell my grand daughter likes olives YAK!!!!

Sleep training – again WTF is sleep training???

Well – it is the process that the parent uses to insure that the child is on a tight sched for sleeping – sort of like “cry it out” without the mass hysteria – TRUST ME – it works AND a life saver. Somewhat limiting at times but that phases when day time naps are done.

Gentle parenting – see this one I have a hard time getting on board with because in some realms it is more of a “do this sweetie please – thank you and please – do this” – um – ya – no – get in the F’N CAR NOW!!! ok well maybe not that aggressive but you get the idea.

I am all for reasoning etc but there is a line – maybe mine is just a little closer to me than others – you do you boo.

What I think we can all agree on is boundaries, respect, discipline when warranted and of course unconditional love.

They say that grand parents are there to spoil and give what they could not give their own children.

Yes again- one some level I agree with this – but to me being a GG is not like I love my grandkids more – it’s like it reminds me of them and being able to love that small piece of them again.

As I was writing this – grandson OUT COLD – but grand daughter sitting on the couch with Grandpa YAK YAK YAK away – it just makes me realize how fortunate we are I guess.

Gettin’ a little misty here – think I was getting my legs waxed (iconic reference to Friends).

Whatever the whatever – I do NOT know how/when my daughter eats while I run a small cafe for pint sized patrons – BUT they crushed not the most nutritional dinner – fell down in the mud ALOT – toilet training is a bitch and Kel wanted just one more “brown thing” (two bite brownie – sorry mum).

DISCLAIMER – THEY ATE FRUIT AND VEG WITH DINNER – I have photo evidence!!!!

Life’s little miracles.

Yep – I’ll take that as a win.

Beware – this post is ENTIRELY about me and my many hats – it is self indulgent – cathartic – a way to get of my chest the feelings of the past couple of weeks and quite frankly a bitchy little pity party!!!

NOTE - I am not NOR will I ever take a dig at anyone in my circle of humans – I mean ZERO disrespect.

I am feeling incredibly sorry for myself RIGHT NOW and want to purge my thoughts.

You’ve been warned.

Are you ready??? CUZ HERE I GO!!!

I am the “do’er” of all things here.

I am the chauffeur of littles to and fro to what brings me GREAT joy. I am fortunate to see my grandkids EVERYDAY (except weekends because well no driving required) – on this I am not bitching – just stating a fact that brings me the bestest of feelings.

I am the cooker of meals – IMO a master chef that feeds the pickiest of eaters. To come up with a different meal everyday when all I just want to eat is instant FACKING RAMEN (mind the sodium) - I am tired of that – can someone just not cook ME a frekkin’ meal FFS!!!

I am the psychoanalyst/cheer leader – GIMME A “P” – GIMME AN “S” - - I would love to solve it all- BUT Bruh…I am almost out of spoons.

I am a personal shopper – NOTE – Gatorade not good for you and I need to invest in “Lays” stock cause the amount of $$ I spend on those thin crisps of calories is insane. (not for me FYI)

I am the cleaner of the abode – and of barn and of coop – rain or shine (more so rain right now) to keep the herd/flock in the style that they are accustomed to. NOTE- in their defense – they do lack opposable thumbs and actual brain power to do it themselves – so maybe I will defer on this one.

BUT cleaner of abode?? The dishwasher is right there – the laundry machine is quite easy to use and do you think those clothes fold themselves?

I am a master financial planner – bills get paid – food get purchased – there is no magical fairy that does that.

I am a keeper of secrets – shhhh – I have secrets and confidences and shhhh - those go to my grave.

I am quite frankly the “glue” – I am the glue that keeps this little part of our world from dissolving into the smoking crater of nothing.

See told ya – TOOT TOOT- that’s my horn.

I’m tired and I’m just meh.

Right now – right at this very moment in time – I am feeling overwhelmed and under appreciated and under valued.

BUT I did just close all 3 rings in my health goal today so there is that.

AND I know deep down in my core that I am not – deep down into the bottom of my being -I know that what I do every day is something that is worthwhile and important and it really means something.

But right now I will wallow in my little pity party of feeling sorry for myself because by tomorrow I will feel back to my warrior strong – PFFT girl – grow a pair self and start the day above ground.

We all get these feelings – every one of us and don’t tell me life is all sunshine and roses all the time cuz it ain’t.

We all feel that sense of WTF that washes over us from time to time and the true to core is to recognize it – embrace it and rise above it.

AND if you don’t think you can – PLEASE reach out and I will walk in that darkness with you until you find that light.

I AM the do’er of all and I am the glue!!!

Well, well…looks who’s another year older.

YEP ME!!!

45 (LOL) never felt so good- throw in a new hip and botox and I don’t feel a day over 80.

Hip replacement – ya – what can I say – not for the whining faint of heart – the first couple of days are a bitch – and my issue is with the whole thing how incredibly frustrating it is that it has been 7 weeks and I am still not back to normal.

Apparently I’m making remarkable progress but I am still so impatient.

September started off in the shitter.

My Mother in Law sadly passed away on Labour Day after a long battle with cancer.

One minute she was picking weeds from the front lawn and refilling the bird feeder and then less than a week later she was just gone.

It was blessedly fast but still in the end how she wanted it to go BUT we are comforted in the fact that no more pain. Still too young though.

The aftermath for Hubs has been so hard to watch.

An only child so right now a little lost and as a man – not showing feelings.

Thankfully ever prudent – Mother in Law had everything taken care of so it’s literally sign papers and the trust fund manager and lawyer takes care of everything.

Let’s all have a stellar October shall we with Thanksgiving right around the corner and the spooky season upon us.

Be kind- be thankful – even when you don’t want to be – or your being beat down by life – remember that you are above ground- enjoy those trips around the sun.

The human body is a remarkable thing and super fragile.

There are 206 bones – the hand alone has 27.

BUT the hip – well that has just TWO!!! Two big ass bones and they can replace with a chrome titanium contraption.

Unless you have been living under a rock, unfollowed or GASP unfriended me on socials – I had a hip replacement August 10th – a mere two weeks and three days ago.

I went into the hospital in the morning – I left the hospital the same afternoon with a new hip – a set of instructions and some trippy pain meds. (side effects include crying at the drop of a hat and chills – didn’t like that)

First couple of days were rough – only peed myself 3 times – slept with ice packs on my whole right side – suppositories are your best friend – sorry but can’t sugar coat that one.

I think for me the hardest part was sitting still – I get so bored because I am always on the move – I don’t watch TV and I could not concentrate on reading.

The loss of freedom was rough – not being able to drive for two weeks – the smell – not be able to shower for two weeks and seeing the burden that running a farm full time as one person – Hubs went all out taking care of me and the farm – and the house. What a trooper.

BUT THEN….

The human body decided to fight back? – give up? – not sure.

Not mine – not his.

His Mum.

Hubs Mum has been battling pancreatic cancer for a year now.

What a woman to go through so many rounds of chemo unscathed with a great attitude but was very realistic in knowing this one ain’t just going to go away.

The last 5 months – chemo stopped – there was no point anymore and then the signs of mestastasization – weight loss – slowing down were all tell tale signs.

This past weekend was a rough one with AFIB episodes and just that slow down of what is next I guess.

We have 24 hour nursing care of her at her home – Hubs is staying with her through the night with the nurse – coming home – helping me going back – coming home at night – helping me – going back – I wish there was more I could do for him.

My Mother in Law – her and I may have our differences of opinion – views etc – but I have always and will always have the utmost respect and admiration for her.
She is a strong, smart, successful woman who raised an amazing human and I thank her for that.

Our strong human bodies that carry us through so much but yet they are so fragile.

I am not sure I’ll ever figure that out.