Choices and Life…

This could be a little heavy – sorry.

We all have to make some pretty shitty choices in life.

Should I take that job – should I quit my job and find another – should I marry that person – should I divorce that person.

I have been faced with all of the above at one point or another and while it genuinely sucked at the time of the choice – it all worked out for the best in the end.

Taking one job inevitably leads to a better job – marrying that person – while not inevitably – can lead to divorce.

Experiencing the latter in life was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make. It was painful -heartbreaking and life altering. It made me doubt myself as a human being – as a parent and as a woman – however – while it was the hardest choice – it was unarguably one of the best choices I have ever made.

Had I not married – I would not have two wonderful children. Had I not divorced I probably would not be writing this post and experiencing this life that allows me to write this post.

When my children were younger – I essentially made their major choices for them but now that they are grown – I tell them to make the choices that feel right for them.

I cannot tell them what to do any more – Lord knows I do try (smile) – but in the end – be it a good choice or a poor choice – they need to know that no matter what choice – we back them 100%.

My daughter has not lived at home in over 6 years now. She still comes to be for advice – which is always free to take or not – but it is always there – I go to her for advice – which she gives freely and objectively and I can choose to take it or not. While we will always be mother and daughter – she is my closest friend and confidant and will always have a room in our home if need be. (FYI – tick tick tick – I need to make your room into a closet).

My son is on the verge of leaving us. He is halfway out the door and while it pains me to see that other foot moving closer to the exit – I am excited for his life and all that it will bring to him.

He will make poor choices – he will make good choices – he will experience pain and he will experience joy. My son is my silly best friend. He and I have the most wonderful conversations about music and the zombie apocalypse and how our home is a fortress and we bond over candy and life and can talk just about anything. While we will always be mother and son – he will always be my baby. (sorry dude). While he claims he fought for the “good” room – he knows I gave him the good room. Now when he leaves he will always have a room too but not that one – I want that one back!!

Choices in life are tough – I like to think that I raised them well – that we raised them well and that the knowledge and values we have instilled in them will allow them to instill those in their children and it will guide them into making the right choices.