Am feeling the rainy evening blues tonight.
While I do love the sound of the the rain falling outside my window – I always find the rain makes me somewhat melancholy.
Trapped inside- sitting – am not a TV watcher – more time to think I guess.
What needs to be done around here – what has not been done – how much we actually have done – tomorrow- Monday – next Friday.
Next -or should I say this coming Friday – well – it will be a sad day here at Orange Acres.
Beloved Little Horse will cross the “Rainbow Bridge”.
I flip flop back and forth between the decision to send him on that journey.
The selfish me sees a fit and vibrant equine – always there at the gate waiting for me to feed the masses- with a nicker and a head butt.
The realistic me sees the sunken back and eyes – the laboured breathing during humid days and mixing the pain meds into the feed whilst dosing him with steroids to ease his air passages.
Flip – the canter across the paddock like a yearling with heels in the air and the twinkle in his eye.
Flop – The constant wheeze and coughing.
Flip – the nip on my backside while I clean his feet and I giggle that he still full of piss and vinegar.
Flop – the ache I feel as an injured and lame human – watching him turn and walk with pain.
Flip Flop – Flip Flop – uggghhh – enough to drive me mad!
Sadly and with regret – the Flip will win.
Sure I could up his dose of meds and turn a blind eye (oh yes he is also blind in one eye…hmmm – ironic) and limp him through yet another cold and damp winter and worry about him – or I could grow a pair and just do what I know is best for his quality of life or in this case – death.
Selfish – it’s what it boils down to – pure selfish reasons. Who will greet me at the gate and nip my backside while I pick his feet?
Flop – back to reality.
Little Horse deserves better. Little Horse deserves respect and Little Horse shall be free to run like wildfire through fields of gold come Friday July 31st.
I hate this part.
Orange Acres 