A word of warning should you choose to read this entry – I would stop (collaborate and listen) – just kidding – I would stop and go grab a tissue now because I know I went through an entire box writing it.
My love affair with the equine species probably began when I was 4ish. I distinctly remember my father placing me on the back of a horse at a friends place – her name was Ann Hunt – Ann is my middle name.
Ya – I know – 4 years old – how could I possibly remember.
Funny thing about memories – the really really excellent ones stay with you forever – sometimes – so do the less than stellar ones but that is not what this post is about.
Later in my life- the age escapes me – I distinctly remember my first pony ride. It was a shiny bright copper coloured pony named Red Wing. My first ride was a near disaster with that little shit bird taking off on me like a rocket sled on wheels while I clung precariously to her back screaming the whole time. That is when it really clicked in – this is what I want to do.
I begged my parents to buy me a shiny pony but it was not in the cards. With 9 children to raise – oh wait was it 9 at that time?? I have no clue – moving on – with a herd of children to raise -financially it was just not feasible.
So I went back to watching Black Beauty and reading Broom Tail and playing with the moulded plastic ponies I would get for Christmas and Birthdays and just know that one day I would have a pony of my own.
School for me sucked. Outcast and bullied with nothing to do – my mother enrolled me in 4H.
What the heck was that? Well – that was a barn that I could go to to be with horses and ponies and learn all about them.
Heaven – ahhhhh – heaven was a barn in Russell Ontario owned by an amazing woman who taught me how to ride and groom and clean and feed.
So every morning – 0400 rain or shine or snow or sun – after I put the coffee on for Mom – I would trek to that barn and I would do chores and shovel shit and just live that dream.
My first love was a retired barrel horse- a beat up old paint named Blue. On Blue’s back – I was a Queen. Sadly Blue had to be put down due to blindness and I distinctly remember that day as I still have the pin from the flower that the owner’s husband gave me that night to console me.
I would jump on any horse that needed riding. No fear – no hesitation – just up and go!!! Children “bounce” at that age.
Then the owner brought in a coach for lessons with the younger boarders. That is when I learned that horses could jump over fences and that this thing called dressage was like ballet on a horse. That coaches name was Liz. Liz taught me the finer points and grace and soon I was showing horses.
Then I turned 16 and I did something really really stupid.
I met a man – an older man. I was rebellious and disrespectful to my parents which I have come to terms with and I saw a way out of my stupid little town and I ran away and got married – way too young and totally an idiot – I abandoned my dreams of ponies and flying over fences and dancing that dance.
Years of marriage were not all bad – that union brought me two amazing children but circumstances had me leave that relationship and put me out on my own with two children to raise.
Still – I yearned for something I could not quite put my finger on and then chance brought someone into my life that would change the course of my future.
Hubs – my hero- we met – we fell in love – we bought a house that backed on a riding stable and my long lost love affair with ponies started all over again.
This where the dance started again.
I was soon schlepping shit again and jumping on what ever horses I could – well – the calm ones. Older people do NOT “bounce”.
A vacation down south and coming home I noted two horses in the field that were not there when we left.
Questioning about them -I fell in love with one but was told he was “not for me” but try this other one.
This beat up old grumpy man who liked to bite me – he was such an ahole BUT he was quiet and I could ride him whenever I wanted and soon- a bond was forged and I was dancing again.
Like a child atop that copper shiny pony or my precious Blue – I was a Queen again. Not flying over fences but dancing like an idiot and learning how to ride all over again. Hours upon hours we would just play in the arena or I would stand for hours just brushing his flaxen mane.
A move to a new home with property and a barn and my beloved pony with me saw us adding one then two then three to our herd – we were in deep now – ponies here – ponies there – ponies dancing everywhere!!.
But then – Little Horse started to change. He started losing weight, and was more stiff and sore than normal. His breathing issues -which I used to be able to control demanded stronger meds and he went blind in one eye.
It was in April that we made the decision that this summer would be Little Horse’s last dance. Unfortunately the weather and circumstance pushed up that day I was dreading and I set a date.
Little Horse/Trigger and I had one last dance last night. Just him and me in the field – no saddle, no bridle and I felt like a Queen – walking around in circles just the two of us.
Today – I said good bye to the pony who brought me back to life and got me back into the saddle.
My soul mate horse – Trigger was put to rest.
I am happy to say that he spent his final years putting up with me and my unorthodox mounting methods, guiding me through the learning curve of essentially learning to ride all over again, biting my ass as often as he could and just making me laugh. My Goofy horse will not be a the gate tomorrow morning but he will always be in my heart.
I am sad – I have cried on and off most the day but surprisingly enough – I feel an almost peace.
I am very happy that he will no longer suffer bouts of breathing issues and no longer be stiff and sore.
I’d like to put in a small list of “thank yous” if I may.
I’d first like to thank Hubs, Son and good Friend who did the deed that I just could not. To guide Trigger to his final resting place – to be with him as he took his last breath and to give him the dignity that he so deserved. My hubs – my hero.
Thank you to my family for listening to my endless stories of hay and feedings and night check and ducking out on get togethers – for listening to me obsess over my herd.
Thank you to all my friends – every single one of you for reading the blog and supporting me and being there for me and answering stupid questions. For feeding my horses with the best quality feeds and hay – for introducing me to the community – for just being the best friends and Chicks I have ever met.
All of my friends who I have never met but feel I have know for years- all those who have been so supportive with kind words – thank you
Thank you to Dundas Vet Clinic for being there for us during the simple times and this awful time.
Last but certainly not least – Thank you Little Horse/Trigger – thank you for allowing me the supreme pleasure of owning you (who’s kidding who? you owned me) – thank you for deeming me worthy of your company and trusting me to take care of you for these past 5 years. Thank you for helping me find my passion again and for dancing with me – a million times thank you.
You are now free to run in fields of gold with your head held high with no pain in your body. A spring in your step and a twinkle in your eyes – I will miss you dearly.
This is where Trigger’s story ends. Trigger is gone in body but in mind and spirit he will always be that Little Horse who taught me how to dance again.
Orange Acres 