Couldn’t really think of a good title tonight – my brain is still a little off from this cold I have been battling.

Random musings – more or less.

Winter is upon us – the ground is starting to freeze and good Lord – this time last year I am sure we had snow!! – not yet though but you can almost smell it in the air.

This year will be the first year we have chickens over the winter. They have nice cosy coop but I am so worried that we will inadvertently kill them in our lack of experience. I rely heavily on advice from friends who are vastly more experienced than us – if all else fails – I’ll bring the free loading slackers into the garage! I know I can con hubs into that 😉

As I said above -the ground is freezing which will make for interesting walking in the early mornings post daylight- I fear that an “ankle turn” is in my future – SCORE!!! A day off work.

The herd does not fair so well on the hard ground-we are at the “inbetweeny” stage of mud to frozen – once frozen – Hubs can scrape it to even it out.

I have a love/hate relationship with winter.

I do love the cold crisp nights where it is just me and herd when the moon is bright and traffic is slow – just sitting there listening to them eat and breath – it’s so calming.

On the flip side – I do hate the constant darkness that has seemed to take over every facet during the week. Dark driving to work – dark coming home – now I know why the call it hibernation.

I love love love our new batch of firewood – the house is almost sub-tropic downstairs but just cool enough upstairs to sleep. I do hate the mess it makes when we have to haul it inside.

The holidays are almost upon us – when did that happen? This years pact is simple – a nice meal – a bottle of wine and a trinket or two – that’s it – that’s all -we have all agreed. It’s time to go back to our roots with family and friends and fun and not monetary.

There are a few things missing though.

I do hate that Little Horse is not with us – I miss him so much. I love my herd -I really do but they are not him.

I miss my gal pal and trusty side kick and horse rider extraordinaire – I don’t see her as often as of late – she is so busy in her new job.

I hate being sick.

I think I’ll just go to bed and tomorrow I’ll have a better outlook and not be so maudlin.

ps. Blogger spell check was down so I’ll fix errors next time 🙂

Were I to flashback to November 3, 2014 and November 2, 2014 – I would see a whiny baby bitching and moaning about the “fall back” theory of time change.

But I am not “flashing back”!

This is real time my dearies and I am ‘a bitching and moaning already.

Sure – the so called “extra hour” of sleep was nice – however I am still going to rant a wee bit.

The darkness falls upon us – the days have shortened  – the sun – my “frenemy” has stopped with it’s most precious warmth.

A cold chill creeps up my spine – oh wait – that is Big Horse being a bone head and ruffling my hair – sorry.

The muck – the fall rain- it has rendered my boots not so waterproof – wet feet – sigh – my nemesis.

My flock of chickens – oh my flock – another day goes by – no eggs – CURSE YOU – free loading slackers!! – how dare you…

Sigh – night falls – the darkness  – my ever trusty flash light at my side come feeding time.

The howl of the train whistle – the rustling branches – the night – the darkness.

Alright enough already – the time changed – the days are shorter  – get over it you whiny child!!!

So – in conclusion – the time changed – I no longer drive in to work in the dark – it will get colder – snow will come – hands and feet will be cold and life will go on.

PS. December 21 – days start getting longer!!! – EPIC!!!

When we first uprooted ourselves from the thriving metropolis of Manotick – to move out to the sticks in Kemptville – I kept thinking – how the hell are we ever going to make it? How the hell will I make friends? and how the hell am I going to get to to know anyone out here??

Farmers out in these parts all have to go to the feed store right? – Well who knew that the local feed store would allow me to forge some pretty special friendships?

I don’t make friends easy – believe it or not – I am a little shy – no seriously – I am.

It starts with one woman – Audrey Rooney – the proprietor of the local feed store. Hereby known as the “Glue”.

Horses gotta eat – they gotta have bedding – they gotta has this that and the other thing – Ladies and Gents  – that is where the “Glue” comes in!

This post is dedicated to Audrey Rooney – our “Glue”.

I am trying to think of a more fitting moniker for Audrey – but it just keeps coming back – the “Glue” – sorry Audrey 🙂

Back in June – I thought – how cool would it be if we rappelled down a building in support of Audrey’s cause?

Holy crap  – little did I know that the Glue would actually take me up on that offer!!

That is when the “Chicks” were hatched.

Our rag tag flock of chicks!!

Manon – I had met – answering an ad on a local farming board about a missing cat that I was sure I saw in our yard – then there was her amazing children – and then her fantastic husband – Friends!!!

I am not quite sure where Tasha came from – out of the blue – she is an outta the blue kinda gal. An amazing woman – truly – raising two children – working her butt off – her confidence  – I’m jealous.

Then of course – the Glue!!

The Glue brought us all together.

A jump off a building – turned into a poker run – turned into building this amazing Bear – out of hay.

But wait – there is more – during this jump/run/bear – I have made more and more and more friends!!

In the community with horses and hay and everything!!!

So today – we built a Bear – out of hay – in support of Make a Wish Foundation. For Braeden and Isabella and for all those children who just want a wish.

AND – the common thread in all this building/jumping/running/riding – on and on and on – is the Glue!

To wrap it up – jeebers – don’t even know where to start  – at a loss here.

OK – Audrey Rooney – proprietor – philanthropist – Mom – friend – Chick – Thank you!

Thank you for being my friend- Thank you for introducing me to all these amazing peoples here in our little community – Thank you for geez lady for working your collective ass off and just being  the person you are!!!

I don’t think you grasp how important you are to so many people?

You are to me.

So Thank you!!!!

 NOTE _ Please go to https://www.facebook.com/orangeacres.thebarnproject OR https://vimeo.com/143539465

You can see the video there – I hope- I have never embeded video into a post before!!!

We all have milestones in our lives.

Hell – I just had a major milestone in mine by turning 50 but birthdays don’t always have to be milestones.

Everyone and I do mean everyone has specific milestones that stay with them their whole lives.

Today – October 16, 2015 is a milestone day for my family.

Today October 16, 1995, my siblings and I lost our mother to cancer.

There I said it!!! I even said it out loud. It’s been hard for me to say that out loud.

And I am not trying to make this about me, me, me because over the past 20 years I have seen how this has affected my Sib’s as well.

My mother – she was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and I am probably going to write this with rose coloured glasses extolling her virtues blah blah blah BUT while my mother may not have been perfect- she was a HELLUVA of a woman!!!

My mother- her name was Beverly – gave birth to 9 children – that alone awarded her a medal.

Mom cooked for us and she cleaned for us and she took care of us as best she could with what little money we had. Mom ran that house with the military precision of a drill Sergeant.

Every morning prepping 9 kids for school, with 9 lunches and 9 breakfasts and 9 and 9 and 9!!!

My father had a good job but raising 9 children on his salary was difficult considering that 8 of them were girls!!!

Were we poor?? At the time I thought we were for sure – brat that I was. While we may have been cash poor- we were the richest family in the world because of the values that Mom and Dad instilled in us.

My Mom’s ability to stretch that meal, take in second hand clothes, and not be too proud to take washing machines from neighbours who were getting new ones – or that second hand lawn mower – and gardening – good Lord did we have a big garden – THAT is just one of the reasons why today I could give a tiny rats ass about “things” AND I love thrift stores.

Mom was a classy broad – she really was. Mom never really had the opportunity to get all dressed up and go out on the town in a pretty dress but when she did – wow – she was so beautiful.

1994/1995 was rough on my Sib’s and I.

We lost our dad in 1994 and then our Mom in 1995 – they were both very young and that essentially turned us into orphans (to coin the term loosely).

Years have gone by – 20 of them be exact – and every day -and no shit -every day I miss my Mom and my Dad too of course.

Mom was our glue and as of late I feel our glue is getting a little thin.

This may piss some of my Sib’s off so I will apologise to them in advance but I feel that our glue has come a little undone.

Ya ya – we all have lives – and we all have shit going on in our lives and we all certainly have different personalities and like true siblings we fight and argue and he said this and she said that but let’s get real here people- we really are all that we have left of Mom and Dad!!!

Dad’s passing was painful – Mom’s passing so soon after was devastating.

I really would like to think that I am a lot like my Mom. I can surely stretch a meal – partially because all my recipes are for 11+ people – I don’t care if my clothes are designer because really? they are just clothes – I like to laugh – OK I hate to garden – but I don’t mind hard work – and I hate to see things coming unglued.

So – let me sum this up – Mom – where ever you are – this one is for you!!

Thank you for putting up with my stupidity – you were right -I truly apologise if I was EVER disrespectful – I miss you every day – thank you for instilling in me your values so that I could in turn instill them in my children and thank you for continuing to inspire me even though you are gone.

C’est la vie – C’est la mort.

XXOO

WOW!!!

Where the hell did summer go?? – BLINK!! it’s gone.

Nights are certainly cooler and it sure is getting dark early.

Excuse me a moment – my bipolar cat wants some of my potato chips….that’s better.

The dreaded time change – while not here – is fast approaching.

That was all to glaringly apparent this morning whilst I donned my ball cap, with built in flash light, to go and feed the masses this morning.

It sure was dark at 0600.

Unfortunately during the summer – my once keen sense of “feel” has gone to be replaced by stones that were not there since spring and the fact that Max is in pieces in our driveway – awaiting a new clutch installation.

Cursing and tripping over this, that and the other thing – I stumbled my way to the gate.

Note to self – tomorrow morning carry flash light to see what could be in my path.

Approaching the gate – I stopped – like a deer in head lights or one of those Serengeti type animals that smells a predator from a kabillion miles away.

What is that smell?!

Oh good Lord- there is a skunk in our midst.

Do I walk on into the abyss of darkness with only my dim hat light to guide me or turn tail and book it back to the house for big light to insure I do not run into Peppy le Pew?

I am woman – I am strong like bull – I can take on the world – so I push forward – ignoring the stench that I am sure has permeated my soul.

Eyes watering I fumble for the gate latch – the herd – smarter than I of course – Lord of the Dancing around because ( yes – that same old cliche) are clearly starving because they have not eaten in HOURS!!!

Tripping over a pile of poop that was NOT there when I tucked them in the previous night, I tread softly and carefully to the hay barn  – to lights – to safety!!

Flinging open the door  – I carefully peer in to make sure Le Pew is not curled up inside. I flick on the lights – whew!! He/She is not there.

I distribute the morning breakfast to impatient equines – and continue with the routine of flinging hay about so that they have plenty to keep them fed and occupied while I go into the city to earn money to afford to feed the hay burners.

With a “Have a good day and be good to each other” farewell – I tip toe back to the gate.

Ever wary that Le Pew will pop out and spray me and then I will be hooped and smelly for the day. Having experienced a skunk spray before – it is NOT easy to get rid of.

Safe and sound back in the safety of our stone fortress – I complete my morning toilette and become the fabulous well pouffed work me!

This morning’s adventure reminds me that  – holy crap -I live in the sticks and smelly creatures do too!!!

Tomorrow morning – who knows – could be a raccoon – could be Le Pew again – could be a bear for all I know.

Never a dull moment!

Reflecting on my 50 years on this earth as I attempt to stay awake for the eclipse.

A few things I have learned.

I am a really really bad singer!! – There is video – there was alcohol involved and it was a total lip syncing jam!!! Thanks ladies!!!

My children are thus far my greatest achievement in life. For real and for true!!!

Dreams – they really do come true!! I would not be sitting here writing about farm life if they had not – right?? right?

I really want a dog – end of story.

My family- they are nuts!!!

You can never have enough food when prepping for a family gathering – so says my over stuffed fridge.

Never mix red wine and white wine – at least not the swill of white wine I purchase. I learned that the hard way – Hair of the dog anyone??? get it dog?? I want a dog. I think I said that.

Hay gets every where and when you think you have cleaned it all up – there it is again!! Also cat hair.

Sitting here – wondering what the next chapter in my life will bring and thinking that it simply cannot get better.

I have two incredible children and an amazing man in my life. My family though nuts – makes me smile every day. My friends are by far the best friends I could even wish/want/have or dream of. All my in laws – outlaws and everything in between are a wonder and a delight.  I have a beautiful – yet mismatched decorated home – I have my critters – I have my health – MINUS the wine – I have everything I have ever dreamed of and/or wanted in my life.

These past 50 years have not been perfect at times – but the end result – this time – this EXACT time – fills my heart with love.

So – while not trying to be too narcissistic – Happy Birthday to me!!

More importantly – thank you to you – all of you – every last one of you – thank you for being your fabulous selves!

Yesterday- Sunday September 20, 2015 – this date will go down as a hallmark day in my life.

I was privileged to be part of a team of people that make wishes come true.

Back in June of this year – I hurled myself with wild abandon- OK not so wild – off a 14 story building in support of an amazing cause. It was a rappel – what I thought was the hilite of my year

Until yesterday…

Mostly everyone is familiar with Make a Wish – granting “wishes” to children that are ill and sadly may not make it through to adulthood – get to spend some quality time with their family doing something that perhaps they may not get the chance to do.

Last year I participated as a ride in the Rooney Feed Annual Poker Run in support of Make a Wish Foundation of Eastern Ontario.

While I still had two horses – ridden by dearest friends – Gal Pal and partner in crime Alicia and Wish Chick sister Tash – I opted to sit out on the sidelines and man the trenches with all the other volunteers including Wish Chick Manon.

Yesterday after Partner kicked me off my own property because I was too tense to be around horses loading on trailers 🙂 – I left for the site to do what I could do – to help out with the rest of the circus.

Planting directional signs along the way – I made my way to Limerick Forest – a magical place that boasts the best trails for riding in Eastern Ontario where I would meet up with a bunch of people I did not even know to get through the day.

What an experience – I met some of the best people I have ever met – I saw some amazing equines – I ate some incredible food- sun burned my nose – but the capper – the capper of the day was the conclusion.

Not because I was glad it was over but to meet Isabella – the Make a Wish child – ahhh such a smart and sweet young lady – to marvel in the camaraderie of all riders of all disciplines heading out and coming back with smiles  – to see my horses with their amazing riders dig in and make it through the ride – to see a Village come together in support of each other.

Oh my – getting all teary here – think I was getting my legs waxed.

This video- it speaks for itself.

BUT – really – who I have to thank and praise is Audrey – this woman – good Lord – this woman – she is proprietor over our local feed store. She feeds our livestock and gives us all advice. She makes us laugh and yesterday – she made us all cry.

This woman has raised thousands of dollars for this foundation. Why does she do it? Well- because she can.

This Village – which we are blessed to be a part of would not exist without Audrey.

So this is for her – my friend – I am blessed!!

Now enjoy the video

https://vimeo.com/139980125

As I sit here  – I am reminded of all the challenges that we face in life, love, work etc.

Personally – I have dealt with many challenges in my life – as I am sure you have in yours – but this post is not about me at all.

For the first time – in a very long time – I am actually at a loss for words – wait – not a loss – I am NEVER at a loss for words.

I do, however, find myself struggling with how to put what I wish to say into words.

It’s an odd feeling.

Life – it sometimes throws us a less than favourable situation.

We “zig” instead of  “zag”. Left turn instead of right turn. Go forward instead of backwards.

We all do it- as they say – life happens.

I have promised a very special and significant person in my life that I will not go into detail but needless to say a very special and significant person in their life has been thrown into a less than favourable situation.

A “zig” instead of a “zag” if you will.

Everyone handles these situations differently – would you agree?

When that less than favourable situation happens- much like grief -there are stages that one goes through. There is denial and anger. There is isolation, bargaining and depression and then there is acceptance.

But how does one move from one stage to the next?

Can one be pushed into and/or fast tracked through those stages by outside influences? Should one be? I don’t think so – and quite frankly don’t think it is fair to the person who is in that situation to be influenced.

The decision making process is quite personal. When and if it is a life changing situation it should not be made with outside influence.

Yes???/No???

I do apologise for being cryptic however – a promise is a promise.

Everyone has been subject to a less than favourable situation in their life – there is no denying that.

It is how we deal with it that tells the tale.

We can curl into a ball and rock back and forth and hope it goes away. We can be angry and bitter and blame everyone else. We can hide, we can run, we can wither.

BUT  and you can agree or disagree – we can also stand up and face that situation head on and not let it drag us down.

We can learn from it – we can teach others about it – and in some instances we can use it to our advantage.

Life is so full of challenges and how one deals with them is a true testimony to ones upbringing, outlook, and perseverance.

With love and understanding and patience – anyone can face those less than favourable situations that may roll their way.

These issues, these situations are a fact of life. We cannot get away from most of them and we cannot allow ourselves to shrink from them.

What we can do is educate ourselves on every aspect of the situation. We can stand tall and we can face it head on.

Most importantly – we can love and allow others to love us.We can allow ourselves to be weak at times and allow others to take care of us.

I am blessed to have a loving partner, children, family and good good friends around me to support me when I am in those less than favourable situations.

I’d like to think that this special individual realises that they too have a loving partner, family and good good friends to support them as well.

While at this particular point in time – it may seem bleak – know that it won’t always be.

Time – attitude – laughter and love will see them through this dark hour and the people who love them will continue to love them – laugh with them and support them.

“Healing is a matter of time, but it is sometimes also a matter of opportunity” – Hippocrates- wise words indeed.

I was going to post all about my birds and how I am so happy to have my chickens back – which truly I am – never realised how much I missed the little btards til they were gone.

I could sit and watch their antics for hours – they have truly made our little farm here complete.

I decided to take this post in a different direction – not too heavy – but an epiphany of sorts for me.

This past weekend – our Labour Day weekend – was truly a weekend of Labour.

While I may bitch and moan about how much I have to do around out little farm – I got a real eye opener from friends – and traffic and reality.

I have made many friends on the “Book” in the farming community.

Most of them I have never met- but I have been truly lucky to meet some of them.

For instance – my friend up Prescott way. We talked –  I bought meat birds from her (they were yummy FYI) – we kept in touch – I bought more – we talked more. When my flock we decimated – she offered me a Roo (Rooster) – ugly cuss – I’ll post pics I promise – no strings – drove to her farm which she apologised to me for it being messy – like I do all the time for my house which apparently is not but to me it is.

She has rescue horses – they are old – she loves them so much – she takes such good care of them and sadly she will have to put some down this year. My heart goes out to her. I had one to put down – she has 4!!!! – She has ducks – she has goats – she has minis and cats and a donkey and work work work work!!!

When I am bitching about feeding 3 – I will be reminded – she has to feed and care for many more. Hats off to my Prescott friend!!!

Now – on to others topics.

Dairy farming.

The incomparable Farm Sitter extraordinaire- I’ll refer to her as Al. Her brother runs a dairy farm and Al works on that farm when she is not tending chickens, cows, goats and Hubs of her own!! That girls works so damn hard.

I have the privilege of getting the executive tour of a fully functional robotic none the less working dairy farm!! It was fascinating!!! – Truly amazing!!! I saw cows getting milked – with ROBOTS!!!! I saw fat pregnant cows that are HUGE!! I saw babies and heifers and just wow!!! WOW!!! – I got shit on my feet and it stunk and I loved it!!!

Traffic.

Tis the season for the parade of tractors – Farmers – working their asses off to get crops off – corn – beans – hay – who knows – but people – PLEASE slow down and pass with care – you won’t get there any faster by honking at them and passing dangerously!! – They feed us so cut them some frikkin slack!!! – they are doing their job and deserve respect!

Friends.

During my leap from a tall building – I have made amazing Chick Friends. A “Book” post came out from one friends today that gave me a moment to pause and never at a loss for words – comment and support.

I guess what I am trying to say is that the friends I have made in my two whole years here in this community have made me feel alive.

Not just as a women- but as community – we stick together. We bitch about stuff  – we help when we can -we support when we can.

I know – I know – I’ve posted about community before – but I really feel like I am starting to get it- hey – when you run into two people you know in the parking lot of a store – then you know you have arrived.

I just really really like it here. I like my new friends and I like my chickens and I like to call myself a farmer. I like to wave at the guys/girls on tractors that are working in the fields so that we can all eat. I like to watch that cow being milked so that I know how it’s done and I like the smell of hay and horse poop and dirt.

What an odd weekend I have had!!

Next weekend – more of the same.

Oh – here are a couple of pics of the new flock – sorry Ivan Drago the Terrible (from a Rocky movie) is missing – can’t get that bird to keep still!!!! – We have 7 now -we have Fitzgerald back (sadly Ella did not make it) – C2 (our roo Clyde who perished – his off spring) that is the dark one – The Twins (if you have seen the Matrix – you’ll get it)  Marilyn/Monroe – Marilyn is the White one- Monroe is darker and Ivan Drago – the Terrible not pictured here YET – he is hard to pin down – yes yes – I know – I am obsessed!

I am tossing back and forth changing the name of my blog.

Farmlife After 40- well – soon I will turn the big 5-0!!! Should I change to name of the blog -to Farmlife After 50???

Yikes – 50!!!

Where has the time gone??

5 years ago I was a little girl flying over fences on a farm in Russell – slinging poop for a ride on a copper coloured pony.

Now I am all grown up with a farm of my very own – two grown children and responsibility abound!

It’s funny – I am turning 50 – and I still feel like that little girl on the copper coloured pony every time I tack up, mount up and cowboy up.

The synergy between horse and rider – the sound of the foot falls – the connection with the horse through seat and soft hands.

The desire to have the perfect circle – the perfect bend in their neck – to feel them round into the trot and then softly float down into the walk.

The anticipation of the canter – the freedom with the wind in your face.

The English discipline so structured – so rhythmic – and the Western discipline  – so loose yet connected.

With Little Horse gone – I find my saddle time has greatly increased in the desire to spend as much time up in that saddle as I can in order to gain back the confidence I had as a little girl.

I feel myself getting lighter through the hand and leg. After every ride – I dismount and stretch and say “Wow – I’ll feel that tomorrow” and am bound and determined to take a days break but find myself tacking up – mounting up and cowboying up the very next day – my hips screaming in protest (insert Tylenol Arthritis plug here).

Time wasted not being in the saddle is exactly that – time wasted – the days and evenings are cooler – and the herd is willing.

Every day a different horse to ride – learning the quirks of each.

B Horse is lazy – but so comfortable and steady – dressage training no doubt and apparently loves to jump. While I am not “there” yet – I am determined to be “there” by the time change.

Girl Horse a fireball who has to be held back but has that gaming instinct. Much better suited to Western and can turn on a dime and runs like a rocket sled on rails.

Big Horse – an anomaly – dead quiet one day and afraid of his own shadow the next. A secret – Big Horse threw me a week after we got here and I am a tense ball of wreck when I ride him but slowly I am coming around to relax and he is an excellent teacher. THIS horse is trained within an inch of is life and while I don’t quite trust him with mine – yet – we are getting there.

50 – the Big FIVE OH – oh -oh good Lord.

Where did the time go?