My second favourite day of the year…summer solstice!!! The longest day of the year – the sun will be high past 9:00pm.

It signals the first official day of summer – the growing season has begun. Farmers are pulling hay off already – the strawberries will be a bumper crop this year – as are the mosquitoes!!!

Kittens are running to and fro – horses are enjoying the warm days and cool nights. If the weather was like this all year – I would not complain.

Productive day – gates are up for the new fencing – we had a lovely dinner with Hubs mom and friends.

I am sitting here contemplating the universe and a dilemma.

I am out of town next week. Just for two days. My son has asked if his girlfriend can come stay here for a couple of days. I’m torn.

On one hand – I get to see precious little of him to begin with now that he has a life. I trust him implicitly that there will be no hanky panky while I am gone and he is a true man of his word.

On the other hand – Hubs is very conservative and will most likely not agree to it.

I am so happy to see my son happy for a change. He struggles with feelings of inadequacy and depression. I love to see the bounce in his step and smile on his face. He has a special person in his life and it’s nice to see that glow that I used to see when he was young.

Being a parent sucks sometimes. At almost 21 he knows how to reason. There is no more “because I said so”. He is a master at the debate. He is articulate and smart. Anyone who knows him – knows this about him.

I wish I could go back to when “because I said so” worked. Sometimes. I love the conversations with the Man he is but wish the Boy were still there. I know the Boy is still there – it’s just that the Man is who he is now and on some level I have not come to grips with it. He has NEVER given me a lick of trouble. No drinking – no drugs. A lot of drama. The artistic types are dramatic.

Decisions, decisions – I hate making them sometimes.

I was just complaining to a dear friend, who I have never met but feel I have known her for years, how as of late, I am having a hard time finding inspiration.

Not much has jumped out to me lately – no “aha” moments.

We have been incredibly busy…pruning, digging, clearing, fencing. The weather is glorious.

After the last message I sent to her, I found a snippet of inspiration that I am hoping that as I type, I can build on.

My country (as in Canada to all my Canadian brethren), like many countries has it’s fair share of tragedy. We have crime and corruption like most other countries, however in Canada we are fortunate enough that it does not hit the severity levels of other countries.

When something major happens in the news – should we see it on other global news feeds – it’s like “wow- we made CNN or BBC”.

Not this time. No – not this time.

A lovely city on our Eastern Shores named Moncton New Brunswick – such a beautiful city. Small yet large.

This incredible community suffered a major shocking loss as of late when three of our brave Royal Canadian Mounted Police were gunned down by a…a…I am not sure. Mentally deranged person? Vigilante? I am not sure how to describe this individual so I’ll stop trying.

Still building while trying to keep this “not too polictical”.

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police have gotten some bad press lately. Whether the press is deserved or not, to that I really don’t care.

I care that three of our finest guardians of our country have died. I care that they left behind families, children, spouses, parents. All left to mourn. I care.

As a rule – I am not supposed to read the news. I get too wrapped up in the negativity of it and it’s hard for me to cope. I get depressed.

Now – you are asking yourself – what does this have to do with Farm Life after 40??? Nothing really.

It is a rambling of an idea of an inspiration that I had hoped would turn into some deep epiphany of a tribute to fallen police officers. It didn’t. Sorry.

BUT – I watched the “Parade in Red” yesterday for the service for the fallen Mounties. It moved me – deeply. The devotion in the ranks of brother/sisters mourning the loss. I cried.

I did not know these men personally but I do respect them. I respect all service people for the jobs they do to protect our country. Military/Police/Fire Fighters etc etc etc. They do the job.

So – with that – I will get off the soap box now and try and “farm it up” next post.

I just wanted to say to the RCMP that I, as a Canadian, am mourning your loss and I truly appreciate and respect what you do and what you represent for our country. That’s it – that’s all.

Yesterday was a day of tragedy on our farm.

If you recall months back – we had 4 stray cats unceremoniously dumped on our property. Imagine our outrage when we suddenly became a home for 4 more mouths to feed. We already had our “herd” of cats indoors and were simply unprepared to feed and house 4 more.

Of course we took on the task and soon became enraptured with our new outdoor cats.

One cat in particular stole hubs heart. Orange – aptly named as he was – well – orange. This cat I believe was more human than cat. Following hubs around like a child – when we went on walks – he was there. When I went out to feed the boys – he was there. When I got home – he was there.

Friday night unfortunately he decided to go hunting and when I woke up Saturday morning – he was not there. We searched and called and then I found him. He had been struck by a vehicle at the end of our driveway. Thank God – it was quick – he would not have felt a thing.

My heart broke a little – hubs took it very hard. My wonderful man removed him from the road and dug the grave. I made the headstone and we said goodbye. We hugged and cried and began our day of chores.

Yesterday was a day of triumph on our farm.

Our loads of stone were delivered and our little “video game machine” as well to move all the stone.

My sister and her boyfriend joined us in a day of shovel, dump, spread compact and voila!!! A barn floor is born. The boys have already “christened” it by leaving me a nice pile of poop to clean up. The stall mats go in today.

We knew when taking up farming we would need to deal with life and death. I was really kinda hoping to avoid the death part but life has to go on. Much to do – kittens to take care of – horses to feed and lawn to cut.

Orange is buried in his favourite spot at the edge of the woods under his outdoor cat tree.

Our farm is hereby named Orange Acres in memory of that little orange cat who stole our hearts.

It seems that spring has finally sprung here at Rivendell (I am sticking with this name until I think of something else).

Flowers are blooming – grass is growing at an exponential rate. Kittens are being born everywhere – anyone want one? Extra fuzzy – extra cute? Bugs – in the form of flying biting insects have arrived!

A whole new crop of chores for a whole new season. But more on that in another post.

This past weekend I had the incredible joy of hosting my two sisters in house for a trip to the 60th reunion of the high school I attended.

I booked the Friday off and they drove in Thursday night. Wine in hand and so much to catch up on.

In case I have never mentioned it – I come from a very large family. Nine children in total, with 8 girls and 1 boy. Six girls of this clan was going out Friday night to raise a little hell at the above mentioned high school reunion.

We looked FINE!!! I must say – we ran into old friends – we drank (did not drive) danced and danced. It was so much fun!!!

Saturday we planned a BBQ with more family in preparation for the big soiree I am hoping to pull off this summer with even more family.

We had way too much food as usual – drank way too much wine for a third night in a row and just had a tremendous time.

As I get older – I realise how precious time is with family and friends.

I recall being dragged to social events that included family as a child – dreading it while the “old folks” drank their beer and talked about the good old days.

I blinked – I am now one of those old folks sitting around the camp fire and drinking my wine while the children run and play.

I never really grasped the concept of why they did that back then – but I truly appreciate being able to do that now.

Since my folks passed – I find that our family has drifted apart somewhat. We are older now – we have children, jobs, lives that suck up a lot of time. The farm has chained us here somewhat (wouldn’t have it any other way). We all have so much going on in our lives that we lose track of each other. Yes – some of us keep in contact with others who keep in contact – but we don’t all keep in contact at the same time. There are rifts – like there are in every family. She said – he did – we don’t think you should – are you really doing that – did you say that to me – did you say that to him/her – the children have soccer – I can’t get away – the horses need to be fed – etc etc etc.

Time if ticking away – quickly – there are only so many years left to sit by the fire and drink beer and gossip and talk about the good old days.

I am not quite sure when I turned into my parents/aunts/uncles – I can’t pinpoint the day. I am not going to try.

I never professed to be a peace keeper – I am more of a hippie. Peace, love, joy.

I am actually sitting here thinking about how I am going to end this entry. I have no magic words – no sage advice – no quirky anecdote.

My family has always been very very important to me. Not only my immediate family but every aunt, uncle, cousin, in law, outlaw, boyfriend, girlfriend, adopted, assimilated. Every whacky member.

We are a unique bunch. We fight – we bitch – we love – we dislike – we forgive and we forget.

Family – those are the ties that bind.

A grand extra long weekend full of accomplishments!

Friday was a wash…literally…it rained all day but I had the house to myself. Cleaned, cooked, so I guess not a total loss.

Saturday through today was 3 days full of back breaking work and worth every moment.

1. The barn is dug out and levelled and ready to be jacked up and have stone poured in. Amazing how much room taking out a foot of poop can make.

Took all day Saturday to do the above!

Sunday…

2. The lawn is cut. A friend of ours have been working on fixing his old riding mower. With this acreage, we need it. It was delivered Saturday and I swear – the angels sang!! There are still spots that are just too wet to mow but wow we sure have a nice lawn.

3. Mother is Law decided my flower beds need colour. While I love to garden, I simply do not have the “eye” for that. She graciously picked up a ton of bedding plants and installed them all.

4. Picked up my son for a few days. That always makes me happy.

5. Mark helped a friend fix his car and made some extra cash!

Sunday – dinner was served – a grand feast of BBQ burgers and sausage with potato salad and pasta salad. Wine all around. Such a nice day.

Monday.

6. Another stellar day – the barn now complete.

7. Hay moved.

8. New fence line plotted.

9. Curtains finally hung in master bedroom.

10. Balance of the bedding plants installed.

11. The sun was shining – the birds were singing.

We have hummingbirds again, blue birds (which I have never seen live), baby starlings peeping away.

While we were sitting outside enjoyed morning coffee with the chirping birds and munching horses – we looked at each other and heaved a huge satisfied sigh.

This farm – this work – it’s everything we have ever talked about doing since we met.  The work is so hard. The days are so long. The expense is so great.

I know, I know, I keep saying it is worth every ounce of sweat and yes I bitch and moan sometimes – but – I look out my window in the morning – rain or shine and I see happiness. I see peace. I see joy.

I feel blessed.

WHOOSH!!!! – so much has happened in our lives since last post.

I have had two – count ’em  – two works trips in the past week.

Road trip #1 – Knoxville TN – while I love my home and love my country and love my house – Knoxville is a place I could live. It was nice to see green trees, grass and actual blooming flowers. A great trip – full of knowledge. The “Boys” survived- the Hubs survived and wonders how I do it?? – “How do you do it”. Standard reply – “I just do”. He says morning chores take a long time – no they don’t!!! 15 minutes – tops. It’s about the flow. I’ll get into the flow in another post soon. The summer flow. I believe I already went through the winter flow.

Kittens – Lyla finally dropped her litter of kittens and the world said “AWWWW”!!! We knew it was coming. She was swollen and lazy. Saturday morning she looked much thinner. Now to find the kittens. We thought for sure they would be under the barn. I crawled under  with my trusty flash light. Nope. Goat barn. Nope. Top side of the “boys” barn  – nope. On a whim I checked in the garage – where incidentally Scraps moved her kittens to and the cutest site greeted me. Two mamas – curled up – 6 kittens curled up. They take turns feeding each others litters – So cute!

Gazebo – my Gazebo is up. Now we can enjoy outdoors at dusk without getting eaten alive by black flies. Bumper crop this year. Amazing we how we found all the pieces for it yet I still cannot find my peach cardigan!

Road trip #2 – Toronto for the day. Uneventful as Toronto often is.

The Piece de Resistance???…BATS!!! – we have bats – lots of bats – living in our attic. Yes yes – I know – they are messy – their poops are gross but ohhhh…how I love bats. Basically rats with wings and I love rats – Not sewer rats – pet rats- with their little rats faces. I had a pet rat – Ratty Ratterson – oh sorry – off topic. Bats – Bats rhyme with Rats you know?…OK sorry I had a long day. Bats – they will eat the black flies and mosquitoes and dreaded June bugs who will be popping out of the ground any day now.

So – a quick recap. Roads trips and Bats – Kittens and Rats.

Mother’s day!! a lovely dinner with my daughter and her boyfriend – so nice – a wonderful day with my Mother in Law with Gazebos and cafes and pulled pork dinners with Chacuterie plate for a snack and a poem read to me by my son which brought me to tears.

Long weekend coming – extra long weekend – so excited!!!

As I wind down the day – looking around – just a few things ( in no particular order) that bring me joy.

Where to start…OK…

Essentially, anyone can be a parent – some are great parents – others not so great.

We are in the process of experiencing parenthood ourselves – no, no, no!!! We are not having a child – good Lord – we have raised our children – the only children I wish now are grand babies! and nieces and nephews of course.

I am talking about the marvels of farm life parenthood.

As you recall back in the fall – we had experienced our first “dumping” of the stray animals on our cosy little farm. Four kittens to be exact – little scraps of kittens – perhaps 6 weeks old. So cute and so frightened of big humans.

We made them a home, we fed them, we talked to them and we gained their trust. We saw them through the worst winter in years. What we failed to do was spay/neuter them. We are not ignorant in the raising of cats. We have 5 of our best friends sharing our home. We have nursed back to health many many stray cats. We simply thought we had more time. We were wrong.

Orange, Fuzz, Lyla and Scraps became our outdoor cats. I was fortunate enough to find a home for Fuzz (he is now Hef living the life of Riley in a home surrounded by adoring woman – hence the name Hef)

Andre – our wandering – sometimes here male tom cat came sashaying in with his black and white tuxedo (hence the name Andre – he reminded me of a maitre di in a fancy French restaurant) and the ladies swooned. Scraps and Lyla got knocked up.

Scraps the Fierce gave birth to her litter Sunday night. Three precious little “Scraps” of her own and the wonder began.

I have seen kittens before. It has been long time since I have had the joy of truly studying a female cat be a mother.

I sit with her and I talk to her- telling her what a good job she has done. Call me corny, but she seems almost serene in motherhood. Calm and I swear smiling in her accomplishment.She is nurturing and giving for such a young cat mom. She can only be maybe 8 months old. She does her motherly duties to perfection. I feed her out of my hand so she does not have to get up. When she does get up, she is the old Scraps that landed on our door step months ago – but somehow different.

In some small recess of my mind – I would like to think that she recognises me as a kindred mother. Silly I know – but I wonder.

I just came in from the barn. Fed my boys and tucked them in. Made sure they had hay in the barn so they could get out of the rain.

Scraps was there and my last stop prior to coming in was to check on her kittens. She followed me into the barn, grabbing a snack on the way to settle in with her brood- and she looked at me and she purred. I pet her and she settled.

Lyla is due any day. Lyla is not the brightest bulb of the litter so I cannot wait to see how that all pans out.

Luckily I have homes for most and what I cannot find homes for we will take to the shelter for some happy family to adopt. They are so pretty with their little kitten faces.

I have a call into the vet to get appointments to get them spayed already. Sooner than later but I have to say -I am glad I got to experience.

Just to add to this – I know I reference mother alot. I have many male friends who are raising children on their own so this is for you too. While you may not have the reproductive organs that us women do – you are still a parent – and damn fine ones at that!!!

Parenthood – no matter the species – is a gift. I am happy that Scraps shared her gift with us.

Ahhhh… a hot shower – a nice glass of white and finally – relaxation.

We accomplished so much this weekend…one thing I learned the most -while wiping stupid shampoo out of my eyes…is to NOT blink.

When you blink…the day is over.

I swear I just woke up. I just fed “The Boys” breakfast. I just had a cup of coffee.

I just soaked hay. I just got back from the tack sale and the bird auction.

I just fed “The Boys” dinner. I just ate dinner. I just watched a movie. And I just did it all over again.

Yet – here I sit. Blinking. Wondering where my precious two meagre days of “weekend” went.

I went to tack a sale and got a smokin’ deal on a fly sheet…SCORE!!!!

I went to a bird auction – yes – a bird auction – to look at – well – birds. We are getting chickens and ducks and quail and any other assorted colourful bird that is pretty.

I did groceries. I cooked dinner…twice.

I sorted stuff that had been sitting in storage since we moved. I wrote notes/plans for the “new” barn. I cleaned to old barn. I hauled wet cardboard box after wet cardboard box – post sorting – to the fire pit. ]

I fed, I soaked, I watered and fed again. I ate – I slept – I showered and slept again.

And then I blinked – and here I sit – Sunday night. Cursed Sunday night. Planning on what to wear to work tomorrow. Planning meals for the week. Planning my day – planning my evenings.

Maybe if I stop blinking – I’ll have more time?? More time to plan?? More time to accomplish?? More time to think about stopping blinking???

I, of course, did not do all this alone. I had Hubs by my side, blinking, hauling, soaking, not cooking (LOL), moving, shoveling, toting, meandering.

It is 8:41pm – if I blink – it will be 10:00pm – so I’ll stop blinking for a little bit. I’ll enjoy my nice glass of white. I’ll keep planning for the week ahead and maybe if I blink ALOT – the weekend will be here before I know it!

Food for thought!