It’s been ages – sorry – life and shit and stuff just gets in the way and the next thing you know BAM – it is the end of the summer and you question – what the hell have I done these past few months.

But realistically – while a blog is all about me – I’m having some questions that on some level I do hope this reaches some people who have or are in this same situation.

I’ll set this up.

While yes – I have bitched and complained about my Mother in Law – she really is a lovely person who really does just want the best for her son and it took me actual years to realize that but I’ll get to that momentarily.

My Mother in Law is sick – scrap that no – my Mother in Law has cancer and is dying.

There it is !!! It is out there and thankfully neither herself or my Hubs are on social media so this sort of allows me the cowards way of asking some questions to those who have gone thru this.

My parents- both gone and it was so quick that it spared me the quandry of WTF is happening – so I am in new territory.

Her days and dwindling – she is not in a hospice – quite the opposite- we just had dinner for her birthday today and tomorrow a nice brunch. The menus is epic BTW.

But it’s all so odd – how does one address the elephant in the room? – what do you say – what do you do? How do you act?

Like nothing is happening?

Hubs family is very closed about discussing feelings etc while my family – well we are loud and all up in each others business all the time that I am not quite sure how to conduct myself.

Am I being selfish in even asking this?

This all boils down to one thing – actually one person really.

Hubs- he ‘s an only child and while he says he is prepped I am not quite sure that the gravity of the situation has sunk in and I want to be that support for him.

We were going back and forth this week about this upcoming brunch (epic menu) and she said to me – that she was so happy that I would be here to take care of Hubs when she is gone.

I actually paused a moment because really that was the very first time in 20 years that I was acknowledged by her – or was is and I missed it? I graciously promised that I would always take care of him and we moved on from there.

Or is it me that I do not know how to deal with this?

I just don’t know BUT I would like anyone who has gone this to comment or message.

The best ways I can support Hubs thru this issue please.

Thank you!!!

I promise I won’t wait so long to post next time

XO

All ya’ll may or may not know – what with all the SHIT that happening the world right now – that our little city – tucked up in Eastern Ontario Canada – Ottawa to be exact – had a – whew – crazy ass storm this past weekend!!

Yes it affected other parts of the province but I am focussing on our little slice of the world today- selfish as that may sound.

It was called a “derecho storm” – see below – thank you google machine – credit to whatever does not say…

Is a derecho worse than a tornado?

The Short Answer: Derechos are fast-moving bands of thunderstorms with destructive winds. The winds can be as strong as those found in hurricanes or even tornadoes! Unlike hurricanes and tornadoes, these winds follow straight lines.

Anyway – this bitch took out a major chunk of our city – last Saturday – as of today – still many without power and basic services.

Here – at Orange Acres – it was like the storm walked in – flicked a bug (in our case we lost one tree) and went on it’s merry way – we lost power for a couple hours – nothing widespread.

NOW – the City- not 45 minutes north of us – well that was a whole new kettle of fish.

I will freely admit – watching the socials about how destructive this was – I was like ya ya calm your tits people – it was a little thunderstorm.

BUT when I drove into the city on Monday to pick up my daughter at the airport – I was like HOLY SHIT!!! – what a mess – century old trees toppled like match sticks – just like a bomb went off and I felt so very ashamed to think that it was blown out of proportion.

Fast forward to today- still parts of the city out but crews are working non stop.

This event brought a lot of neighborhoods together too – my daughter and son in law -their home no power but across the road – power so extension cords were run here and there and everywhere to mostly run refrigeration and I am so so happy that they have that neighborhood community.

But not everyone was so lucky – some lost their homes to trees falling on them – it’s WILD!!!

Only positive – the weather has been cool – AND (ok a small joke) people have learned how “4 way stops” actually work.

BUT all kidding aside – I am grateful for the community for pulling together and a HUGE HUGE shout out to hydro workers and first responders.

Let’s hope we don’t see this again shall we???

Happy thoughts!

She was a showgirl…

This may sound harsh but being on a farm (I still don’t consider myself a farmer – go back to post number 38 back in 2017 https://wordpress.com/post/orangeacres.blog/38) but when you have livestock – you have dead stock – today – yep – I actually felt like a farmer.

When we moved here in 2013 -we had two horses. We added a third shortly thereafter – a mare who we named Lola because she was FANCY so a show girl.

She was an older mare who still had some zing left and I wanted to make sure her last days were in luxury. She was totally rideable and great fun – a little hot headed but that was her breed. I do not know what life she had before she came here but I sure as shit knew what her life would be like going foward.

But like humans – horses age – they slow down – lose their marbles a bit and you always have in the back of your mind when is it time to make that hard decision to give them their dignity and send them trotting over that Rainbow Bridge.

We knew this past winter would be Lola’s last winter. Her teeth were not doing their job anymore (she lost a lot of weight) – she was down to her last few marbles – and quite frankly was becoming a little dangerous to be around BUT we put her on an amazing diet – trying to squeeze thru until the ground thawed and the weather was nice- one more summer of grass.

Sadly – it was not meant to be.

Confirmation two weeks ago on her body score being sub standard had us making her arrangements for today exactly when our trusted vet would come and assist us through end of life.
Lola had different plans.

Yesterday – we THINK she suffered a stroke so an emergency call to the vet and friends to come assist in getting her out to a more “convenient” location for the vet to do what they need to do.

She went down peacefully without a struggle – cradled head in Hubs arms and passed very quickly.

It was her time.

I question daily why we put ourselves thru this.

We so often have animals that die of old age – get taken out by a predator – birds mostly but it still really does suck when it happens.

We grieve each and every loss we have here.

I did not think it would affect me as deeply as it has as I knew it was coming and I had said my goodbyes MONTHS ago – the rest of it was just paperwork but I have found myself today very weepy and just thinking what could I have done to keep her longer. Nothing I know BUT maybe if I had….

Hubs is a rock and it was his horse -he took care of everything doing the dirty work and the heavy lifting when I wanted to help but just could not bring myself to do it. I am such a wuss.

Goodbye dear Lola – your crazy bitch – I hope you gallop over that Rainbow Bridge sliding to a stop with a carrot in one hoof and dirty martini in the other neighing loudly HELLO – I’M HERE!!!! LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!!

Below – a few things that I do want to remember and some that just piss me off so I don’t.

Do…surprisingly enough – 2021 – I learned to enjoy creating amazing meals -and kicking it old school with regard to food.

Don’t… oddly enough – 2021 – it truly did suck.

Do…forever and always my grandchildren – each smile, hug, laugh, hug, silly moment, etc etc etc.

Don’t…supply chain issues.

Do…sense of community – our wee town really is remarkable.

Don’t…people who tail gate – high beams (like WTF with LEDs man!!!) – idiot drivers in general.

Do…selfless acts – be they big like letting someone in line ahead of you to giving to charities or people in need – ya – I am so on board.

Don’t…intolerance of race, gender, sexuality – ya don’t try and “talk common sense” me – that will just get you cancelled in my life.

Do…BIG DO!!!! my grandchildren – everyone knows I am obsessed! see above – obsessed I tell ya.

Don’t….restrictions/lock downs/mandates.

Do…tolerance vise a vie – the above (restrictions/lock downs/mandates) – no control over that.

Don’t…BIG don’t our government- be it federal, provicincial or municipal – you are all bunch of FACKING morons and really do need to do better – BE BETTER!!!! come on like REALLY!!!!

Do…smile, get more sleep, take better care of not only your physical but your mental health. Let’s be real – we are all on our last nerve.

Don’t…piss me off – you don’t like my opinion – scroll on or unfriend – you liked me before you knew my stance right? I’m still the same person and just because I have different views does not make me evil.

Do…be kind to each other – let’s be real – we can all use a little “hey nice job” or “wow you look amazing” or the classic – THANK YOU!!!

Ain’t gonna lie my friends – my mental health has suffered a severe blow to the point of losing sleep and feeling completely defeated BUT my stubborness in of we can get thru this still shines bright (for today anyway) – I actually have a wee modicum of faith in humanity – no matter how fucked up it is right now.

Peace love and light OR scream bitch and moan – no matter just be true to yourself and don’t try and “force” your beliefs on me – that won’t end well.

Dah do do do – Dah don’t don’t don’t – whatever – be kind.

Buckle up – this is gonna be a bumpy one- lots to say – lots to catch up on.

Firstly – grandchildren are Karma’s way of paying back your own children for all the shit that you had to endure.

Now that I have that out of my system – I’d like to present some actual facts from like real intellectual studies.

It has been noted by some hoity toity smart persons that a Grandmother’s brain function has suggested that us grannies may be more emotionally connected to their grandkids that their own sons or daughters!!

Soooo – sorry LR while you are the bearer of said grand children and I love you immensely – well – the kids actually trump you right now – no disrespect intended.

AND it must be noted that when you are a grandparent – knowing you and how much you are well like me- ya- that’s gonna be your truth.

The absolute and unconditional joy that my grandchildren bring me is not something that can be described.

Secondly – the holiday season is pretty much in our rear view right now and I have to say – in our home – it was a smashing success!

1. Cooked and cooked and cooked – I made “Wellingtons” for the first time – and ya- that is a dish I will make over and over again.
2. Spent way too much cashola – well not really – I did spoil a bit but practical and joyful. I had a good year and I do love to pay it forward.
3. The house is clean enough – as long as my grandson does not find anything toxic on the floor – job done.

Thirdly – this girl has had a nice big old reality check on what a bitch I have been this past year.

And before all ya’ll go saying “no – you have not been” ya I have.

I actually did not jig into this until recently to be honest. I got so hung up on my feelings and my inconveniences that I did not take stock a note that – guuuurrrl there is way more important shit than you – there are actually other people out there that are like struggling and not healthy – so suck it up and grow up.

This shit of the past two years has taken a toll on so many people – there are others who have it way worse than me in my little world and it actually goes against everything I profess to believe in to be so friggin’ selfish that I have been ashamed of myself as of late.

I am not a resolution maker – never stick to the damn things anyway but I will strive to be better in 2022.

Some things I strive to change.

Patience and understanding – if the chore does not get done today or tomorrow – in all likelihood – it will get done or not – does it really matter all that much?

Self care – look good/feel good – girl – you know that when your hair is on point and you draw on those eyebrows and line those lips – you can do anything!!! (this is a me thing – not a mysoginistic thing – I promise)

Moisturize – it’s dry in this house and your skin will love you for it!!!!

Listen to others – HELLO!!!! – there are other voices – there are other people – listen to them.

Be silly!!! – lie down on the floor with the grand kids and make up stupid songs and be on that level of their eye sight and enjoy that wonder that they see every damn day!!! It’s a glorious world! LIVE IT!

Boundaries – set them – do NOT feel bad for setting them – do NOT apologize for setting them – your sanity at times will depend on them.

Indulge – eat the cake/pie/candy whatever blows your hair back – drink a real soda – don’t go for sugar free – the preservatives will kill you – the sugar makes it taste better.

Stop working when work hours are over – GUILTY!!!! the issue that happens after hours will still be there tomorrow.

Exercise – you don’t need to run a 5k – but please get outside and breath in that amazing winter clear air and loosen up those joints and get moving.

Sing/Dance – loudly and poorly- I for one do that daily and will continue to do so – soooo no need to expand on that.

Make sure you tell just not your family how much they mean to you but tell your friends that as well.

Your family is almost a given for the most part but your friends are just as important to your life as well – they may not be blood but I can honestly say that my friends are just like that big part of my facked up dysfunctional family that is mine.

I have the most amazing group of friends and some of them I have NEVER even met in real time – just thru the world wide interweb and I want to give each and every one of them a HUGE shout out for being there and keeping in contact – social media can actually be a joyous place.

2020 sucked – 2021 sucked more- let’s hope 2022 redeems itself and if not I guess I’ll have an even bigger bitchier post next year?

Happy New Year my friends!!

I wish all the best to you and yours in the next year.

Lazy, lazy lazy I have been OR simply uninspired!

Have you found yourself just uninspired lately?

I know I have – this COVID bullshit has beat us down to where we are like – meh – is there a point?

We put on our masks and head out into the world – with a short fuse (at least for me) – of follow the damn arrows and don’t cough in public and ohhhh she is not vaccinated or ohhhh pull up your stupid mask.

It’s exhausting but here we are – it’s been almost two years!!! TWO FRIGGIN’ YEARS! Since this shit show started!

BLINK!!

Remember when you didn’t have to have hand sanitizer in your car/purse/satchel (Indiana Jones has one – some people will get that)?

Spare masks always in the car.

The questions – have you….nope – did you leave the…nope…have you come in contact with….nope.

I want to travel and hug people! I want to pull myself out of this stupid slump of ugggghhhhh – I want to NOT work remote – to go to stores and walk aimlessly down aisle after aisle not wondering if I’ll get judged for being all La Di Da.

I want to go to a restaurant and sit there for hours picking at my food.

I want to wipe my friggin’ eyes without thinking I’ve just killed myself with the COVID I have on my hands from that grocery cart I touched 3 weeks ago and did I sanitize? I don’t remember OMG – I want to cough in public with out getting the death stare of hey ladies and gents- it’s a chronic cough from an acid reflux condition!

I WANT TO LIVE!! PLEASE LET ME LIVE IN MY GERM INFESTED CHICKEN SHIT/HORSE POOP LIFE!!!

Wow that felt good.

Ok so inspired or not?

Hit me up comments or not- whatever blows your hair back!

Edited greatly cause I think I started writing this in May – MAY!!!! time flies

They may or may not be upset that I am writing about them BUT mother prerogative (sorry darling).

I have a son – all ya’ll know that – they are my joy but also my worry in life.

We honestly have the best talks.

Usually when we are driving a semi long distance where we talk about how we would easily survive the zombie apocolypse and the like and other silly things.

They are lively conversations however due to stupid COVID we have not had that opp much lately.

We did yesterday – they leave on Tuesday to see their love in the US – after pre-covid flight tests and the what not – we had a great chat.

To be honest – it has been ages since our last good chat – this worries me and makes me feel a little guilty that I have not been there more but it is what that is.

They know they can reach out nite or day no matter the time and I will drop everything as I know I could with them if needed.

But still – it’s been ages since we had a good shits and giggles talk.

The last GREAT talk started with a question from them. They lost their father a few years back- they have been having bad dreams of guilt and what not to which I am sure I am not privy to the details but it still worries me in that sense.

I just wish I could do more – say more – be more.

But I do need to realize that they are a grown ass adult and sometimes I just need to let go.

So back to our last great chat – It started with a birth date question which morphed into how fat our cat is to the fact that the Knicks are basketball NOT baseball which then went onto a small sports education to mortality of myself and feelings of what if to room mates and the feelings of living in a house but feeling alone to financials to lord only knows what but ended on the inevitable “gotta go feed horses are you ok?” talk to which the reply was “ya for now”.

I’ll take a “ya for now” for now anyway.

I’m so happy that they can once again very carefully travel to see his girl – she is a gem and a wonderful human.

I stress when they travel – hell I stress when I travel but so much has changed since the last trip in January – I am praying for smooth sailing.

In order to NOT have to get up at 0230 to get them to the airport for an 0545 flight – I booked a hotel room at the airport tomorrow night.

We will order some room service – watch some TV and hopefully have one of our most amazing chats.

Our last chat ended wtih with Luv you from me to Love you too Maja – which always makes my heart sing.

Great 90’s deep cut- check it out.

There are really tons of things that make me go hmmmm right now.

Example 1 – it is April 10th – APRIL and it was 26C here today? It’s April? Is it a cruel joke like that may I don’t know we will get snow in May.

Fact – I camped in snow May 24 long weekend back in 2000.

Example 2 – the never ending ineptitude of our governing body and the ever lingering lack of vaccines?

“By All Means, Move At A Glacial Pace. You Know How That Thrills Me.” ( NOTE I DO NOT OWN THIS PICTURE) just covering my ass.

Fact – I did get my first shot this week so that is something.

Example 3 – It’s allergy season people!!! I am not a viral plague of COVID – I have allergies!!!

Fact – the store was out of allergy meds today so it’s not just me so THERE!!!!

Example 4 – it’s an arrow – it’s not lava!!!!

Fact – don’t worry if you walk against the arrows if I am in the aisle – I won’t like get all arrow police on you – I won’t dress you down – I may mutter ‘really’ under my breath (really depends on the day I had) and should you happen to hear it – I won’t apologize.

Example 5 – The blatant disregard of people who stick their fat little faces into to shit that is clearly none of their business !?

Fact – End of topic – stop doing it!

Example 6 – WHY OH WHY do some asshats hold an anti lockdown rally in my hood and make our sweet little town look like a bunch of back water rednecks who don’t give a tiny rats ass about humanity?

Fact – this one burned me bad but Karma that cruel bitch yanked their liquor license so I can only hope they close. Shame on them!

Example 7- going back up to example 1 – being April – pretty sure I did not order these mosquitos tonight? – hmmmm (see what I did there)

Fact – DEET!!!!

Am pretty sure I could go on all night with examples and facts and what not.

Realistically – there is a lot of shit right now that is makin’ a whole lotta people go hmmmm – and while I do get my undies in a bunch over stupidity – heresay and total lack of form – I can always take it back to the deep cuts of the 90’s and….

Oh…and….

(don’t own any of these – still covering my ass!)