Has anyone actually figured out EXACTLY what the “new”normal is?

Like seriously.

Our new normal here has not really changed that much.

Living on a farm does have it’s advantages.

For starters we are antisocial to begin with – not getting to know our neighbors until 2 years after we landed here.

Ok antisocial was harsh – we are just private people.

I do miss my family get togethers very much. My bro and I driveway beer once or twice a week. He has been alot of help and is my essential service but shhhh don’t tell him 🙂

I really miss those big ol’ bear hugs from my son but I need to keep him safe. He is lonely with his roomies bugged out to their parents.

I am super super lucky to be an essential care worker for my daughter – while she works from home – managing her busy sched and an 18 month old simply do not gel so a couple of times a week I am GG DAYCARE!!! which is amazing.

The whole lining up thing to do groceries is weird and I refuse to line up to that store with big parking spaces – I’ll line up for alot of things but not that. Don’t need a gross of canned corn that bad.

So what is the “new normal?”

I am still trying to navigate through it I guess.

I will say my hands are raw from washing and my face is happy with the lack of makeup it has had to endure which is good. I am however in dire need of a haircut soooo must resist the urge to take scissors in hand  – bra?? foreign word. TMI.

Blessedly the days are getting longer and the weather is much nicer which puts us outside alot which I do love.

My cooking skills are being put to the test which I do NOT mind at all. I have gotten so many great recipes online, from friends, here and there. I’ll never buy tortilla wraps again!

Most people are also so much nicer in helping out and being respectful. MOST -there are still the few entitled asshats though.

Mothers Day is fast approaching – guess we’ll need to hold off on a family dinner for that.

You know – when this is all over – I am going to have some “do overs”.

Easter dinner plus Mothers day – most likely May two four weekend – gonna make all the food and have just a big ol’ dinner potluck BYOB outside blow out. Ya ya. that is a the plan.

This new normal is putting a strain on everyone but on some level I hope we can continue the sharedness and comaraderie that we all have right now.

This “new normal” perhaps it is not so new??

Back in my day (HA) -ok my parents day growing up – that is what we did.

We shopped once a week, we hung out, shit was closed on Sunday,

Simpler times.

Maybe this “new normal” ain’t so bad?

Day whatever – nothing has changed really.

Well – not true – shit is getting realer.

I went to do my weekly food run today. My local store has changed!

You are greeted and told to follow the arrows on the floor.

Like some weird macarbre maze in my local store !! Not gonna lie – had a panic attack when I realized I was going the wrong direction. I felt like everyone was judging me for not going in the right direction.

I could then feel the fear of – oh shit – I forgot to grab something 4 aisles back!!! Can I go back and get it – I actually asked someone if I could!! He smiled – what a nice young man – he said yes you can go back. I am sure that they are dealing with that alot now.

Damn Laughing Cow Cheese!

Got myself back on track with 3 lists. Mine, my daugthers and my sons.

WTF IS RAW SUGAR!!! and why does my store NOT carry it?

In their defense – we do live rural so maybe not a thing? I don’t know but I abandoned even looking when I actually said out loud – WTF IS RAW SUGAR and this super nice woman in the aisle just started laughing!!! then I started laughing and well – we are all just trying to not breath on each other and be sane.

Here it is friends – I am the most level headed person out there – really – I have worked thru colicked horses and ones that got hung up on fences. I have been screamed at in my job and just like “uh huh” – I’ve been thrown by horses – tossed about and beatin’ down both personally and professionally – water off a ducks back MFRs!!!

Today I had a panic attack if my friggin grocery store!! LIKE WTF!!!! it’s just food!

The constant media overload and FB posts and this shit – right now – it’s overwhelming.

And realistically speaking my parents, grand parents and great grand parents went thru far more trying times that I will EVER experience in my trip around the sun.

And for that MATTER – our front line workers – doctors, nurses, paramedics, cops, fire people, grocery store and service clerks etc etc etc are busting their collective asses to make sure we are healthy, safe and fed!!!

And I am having a FACKING MELTDOWN OVER SUGAR!!!

Oh – I’m fine now – I had my 3 second moment of Laughing Cow silliness (GOT IT) and pulled up my big girl panties and went to the LCBO to stock up on wine. All good.

I guess we are all just tired and scared or worried and the unknown is getting to us.

We really do need to band together and stick to each other and help out one another.

I really hope tomorrow – there is better news – any sort of better news – throw us a bone please.

Be well and be safe my friends.

I miss talking to you all live and in person.

Soon I hope

Much love.

Edited cause I started yesterday and could not wrap my head around it….

Not an Aprils Fools joke my friends.

We all have a fear in this modern world today.

We read the news and see all the affected people from our country, from other countries.

Our loved ones scared, worried, stressed and affected.

What can we do?

Well…stay home for starters.

I know it’s getting to be like that broken record on skip when the  needle got crap on it.

I figured – two weeks ago – meh – it’s a media extravaganza of fear mongering, panic buying BS.

Ya – not so much anymore.

I had driveway beers with my bro today – he typically stops by once or twice a week – comes right on in – sorry bud – not allowed anymore- bonus he brought his doggo and double bonus the most anti social person out there so no fear of germs.

Germs – WTF – I have NEVER been afraid of germs – I eat friggn sammies in the barn while mucking stalls but now that has all changed.

I find myself trying to not to breath when I go in stores – and eyeing that person in the aisle – don’t get too close – don’t get too close.

Curbside pick up for everything now -essential worker papers in my back pack in case I get pulled asking why I am on the road.

It is like Soviet Era Russia -papers please!!

Stopping for that missing ingredient for dinner?? NOPE!!!  not happening.

OUR..LIVES.HAVE.CHANGED!! exponentially (had to spell check that bad boy)

It is no laughing matter but the thing of it is that if we don’t keep a sense of humour we will all go mad.

I was on the phone with a client today. We were talking about the state of the world.

It’s like we are all living in this bad B movie about the end of life as we know it and the thing is – it’s true.

Our lives have changed – it will not be the same as it was before.

We will not necessarily live in a fear status but will be more wary of our surroundings and our actual selves from this time on.

I want ya’ll to know – and this is super important – if you need a hand  a pick up/drop off of stuff – I will gladly assist.

I am fortunate – healthy and more than will to be there for you.

You need to chat – DM me – I’ll shoot the shit for hours – I do love to talk.

United as family, friends, we will be in this together and make it through this shit show that is happening.

I’m here…and I will help

XXOO

I am actually not quite sure what day of physical distancing/self isolation we are now on.

I know my son is on day 7 so yea!!!

My office is “closed” or optional as we are deemed an essential service – the bulk of staff working from home but a co-worker and I do go in daily. It’s weird.

Did a video call with my gals last nite – that was amazing but still – it does not replace the contact and craziness of our usual get togethers.

I did my grocery run today – it was surreal – the store was very quiet and I am happy to see the barriers in place to protect that MOST ESSENTIAL STAFF right now.

This past week I feel has been a very long week. Not physical time but mental time. Like waiting for that “other shoe” to drop.

It’s very un-nerving.

Totally staying off main stream media as much as possible – it’s always so bleak.

Oh coupled with the fact that I have become Betty Facking Crocker Stewart – am gonna come out of this either 10lbs heavier or lighter depending on the stress level BUT surely with an drinking problem if I keep trolling the news.

What a surreal odd existence we are in right now.

Won’t allow visitors in the house which will put a huge damper on Easter extravaganza cooking BUT I plan to double up on the cooking and deliver to fam in take out containers – Orangeacres Eats but no surge pricing!

We all need to adhere to recommendations of the whole physical distancing deal and stay home and the warshing of the hands and be safe and well and healthy.

Don’t give a tiny rats behind how healthy you are right now – just do it please and keep your precious loved ones safe.

Be well my darlings – our world has changed exponetially and will remain so.

And now – a chicken…

Crazy times my darlings.

Our province is in a “non essential” service lock down which means if you ain’t essential  – for the love of all – just stay home.

Fortunately my job is an essential service BUT I can work from home as well if I am not comfortable – my work family is AMAZING.

Our city declared state of emergency today which means that first responders/essential services get priority and funding required.

Our government passed unprecedented legislature today that will protect all those people who will have ZERO income, small businesses, industry and etc.

Gas is at an all time low and realistically our economy is taking a beating!

Mandatory “self isolation” for those who have traveled.

Side note – two phrases I hate are self isolation and social distancing!!!

But thru all this – hope springs eternal.

My daughters “hood” (I think) or someone thought of this cool thing to do.

Because more people are just like now going out and going for walks and kids are riding bikes and it’s like the old times – they have these theme pictures that they make and post in their windows so that those out and about have some fun looking at drawings and pictures and just simple fun stuff!

Driving thru my daughter’s hood today  – and in her own home – it was so cool to see – and see people stopping and pointing at the pictures in the windows.

AND children are outside – OUTSIDE riding bikes and walking with their parents for the joy of being together.

AND people are just so nice – like I mean happy and nice and holding doors and groups are popping up to help others who are affected. Like Christmas nice.

Like for me just today – I needed yeast to bake bread but nary a store has any and a woman – a friend – who I’ve like met what 3 times – dropped some off at my house for me!!! who does that??

Well – humanity does.

I know we read the news and it’s bad – it is really really BAD – Italy – Spain – it is heartbreaking – it is so scary.

But we are catching these glimmers of hope and community fun – DRIVEWAY BEERS – EPIC – have a beer with your neighbor – you sit in your driveway – they sit in theirs and you talk loudly and you can because there is NO NOISE  – NO TRAFFIC.

Whew getting ahead of myself.

I am scared – and I do not scare easy – seriously-  but I am really scared of what has happened but what has yet to come really. Losing sleep – bad dreams scared.

Thru it all – I know that it will get better – our lives will return to normal eventually.

My bestest fondest wish is that we all do NOT revert back to our “old selves” after this is over – that we can hang on to that niceness and simpleness (ya takin’ liberties with words) and for real and true realize and acknowledge the gift that we have been given because truly when all is said and done – darlings – we could have it ALOT worse that others.

Love to all – wash your hands – ALOT – and be kind please.

We all get one trip around the sun – make it count!

These past 24 hours have been an absolute gong/shit show here at Orange Acres.

My son who was in Ark City KS visiting his amazing girlfriend – he left 3 weeks ago and with all the crap that has been going on  – we have moved heaven and earth to get him home.

His original flight scheduled to land in the US not 40 minutes from here – well we had to change that after they restricted border crossings.

REBOOK!!! his next flight which was scheduled to depart Ark City got pushed over two hours which then messed his entire connection sched.

2.5 hours on hold with the airlines – rebook with more stops.

First stop O’hare…child is starving – off to food court to get some crap – tap – credit card declined – EXCUSE ME!!! – tap – Visa debit declined and in his defence I do not keep a lot of funds in my US account sooo – I’m driving – pulled over to try and figure out how to transfer via mobile banking which I NEVER USE!  ADD a 30 minute wait for a live human via phone.

Blood pressure rising.

Figured it out – got the funds in – next up – call the credit card company and ask WTF!!! I called them this morning to extend his travel advisory and they think that I meant to hold the card  – taken care of – card now active.

We are on leg 2 of a 4 leg trip  – it is currently 1458 EST.

1635 I crashed but he arrived at Dulles and will be departing for good old Canada eh in less than 30 minutes.

1701 Boarding paused – hmmmmm.

Boarded 1709 – the plane is JAMMED he says – his fellow Canadians just trying to get to home soil. Once on Canadian soil no matter where they are HOME and that is the most important thing!

We are now 1733 and we are Toronto bound!!! – almost home!

Sorry to keep this so by the second FYI but I won’t lie – I have been on the verge of literal emotional breakdown today just to get him home. Lack of sleep perhaps I have been up since midnight or just the entire shit show that we are dealing with right now.

Ok -back to tracking ya’ll

Touch down in CANADA!!!! @1841

Navigate the maze – you’ve got this Bud!

Gate – copped a squat ready to come home.

On the flight – in the air – blah blah blah – HOME TO OTTAWA and in the Uber which no shit I followed home – we had a phone chat – he looked like some kind of lurker peering out thru the window!!!

A huge shout out the United Airlines for getting him home  – a huge shout out the girls at the kiosk in Chicago for being patient when we had a credit card issue.

A huge shout out to everyone who followed our adventure today.

A MASSIVE SHOUT OUT TO Laura Hone for sticking with me since 0600 thru this gong show!!

Thanks everyone!! and I mean everyone!!!

HE’S HOME!!!!

Do all ya’ll feel like we are living in a movie right now?

Panic buying – nary a shit ticket to be found.

Gas super cheap – like to the levels I have not seen in years.

Borders shut down to all but inessential travel.

Government press conferences every day updating us on the state of the world.

Market crashes.

Self isolating and social distancing will surely be Webster top phrases for 2020.

Zero traffic.

ME – yes ME actually baking bread cause no stores have any.

It is the apocolypse that my son and I always plan while we are on long distance drives. What is the best vantage points – how will we survive – what will we sacrifice?

I have trained my entire life (with my son) for this.

People – please – calm your tits – man I love that expression.

Yes yes yes – it is a scary messed up place right now but we have to stick together.

Don’t post out information that you heard from someone’s uncles cousins friends exboyfriend – check your facts please – you are just adding to the panic.

Parents -I am so sorry I am pretty sure the kidlets will be stir crazy by Friday  – I am praying for you for good weather so you can kick ’em outside to – oh  – I don’t know- play??

Everyday – everything changes so rapidly and we are all on tenterhooks to see what closes or limits operational hours next.

Our clan is chilling and doing what we should do – being as normal as we can be (is that possible).

Go shopping if you must of course to feed your family – for crikey sake DON’T hoard because there are far more vunerable people who need supplies too.

And lastly and MOST importantly – let’s all be kind please – like we are all crunchy and sweet at Christmas – be that level of kind- be respectful and offer to assist those you know in need.

We are NOT living in a blockbuster movie – we are all just being humans in a shit situation.

Part “dos” is a shout out to my Spanish friends currently under lock down.

I have clients world wide – I have dearest of the dear friends in South Korea who I am keeping in contact with to of course get an over wordly commentary but then again they have the most amazing cats!

I have immuno comprimised dearset of the dear friends  due to chemo and  dearest of the dear family immuno comprimised due to auto immune issues (hello my Hubs) – my son is currently in the US due to come home Friday via a US land crossing AND an infant grand daughter.

BUT that is just my sitch!!!

There really are others who have it way more serious than us.

My core focus right now and no offense – is my family  – not just by blood but by love and friendship.

I have my blood family who hello DM me if you need a pick up/drop off or coffee.

I have my not blood family (my ladies) who hello – see above – and sub in wine OR…

This “climate” that we are in right now – it’s cray cray – but we all have to bond together – stick together and help each other.

You need shit tickets – I’ll find them – Mac and Cheese – ditto ( literally NONE at the store today and who even eats KD anymore it’s shit – since they took out all the additives pffft – oh sorry)

All ya’ll need to know that there is nothing I won’t do to help – to assist and to protect what is near and dear to my heart and soul.

Take heed and don’t mess with the Irish – we will F YOU UP!!!!

Other than that – let’s keep it real my darlings  – wash your hands – and help where you can and in a year – our FB memories will be hilarious!!! (hopefully)

Love to all…

I got a note today from Henny Penny who advised me that the sky was falling.

Being pragmatic – I decided to check the local and national news.

It did confirm what Dear Henny was saying.

The sky is indeed falling!! or something like it 🙂

Unless you have been living under a rock these past two weeks and do not know- our world/universe is GRIPPED with the Covid19 issue.

Fact – Bears like beets – bears – beets – Battlestar Galactica (a select few will get this).

I get it – we are all a little tense – but must one hoard TP and wipes?? – I can guarantee the world will not run out of shit tickets!

And for that matter – do you really need all those disinfectant wipes?

There are far more vunerlable people who need that pasta or rice or – oh I don’t know food?

While the bulk of humanity is stocking up for what I am sure is the zombie apocolypse – I have decided to “high road it”.

We are well supplied here in our bubble of back woods booney living.

While I may be no 5 star chef  – I can cook like an MFr – I can make plain noodles and butter like no one’s business and thank you Mom  – I cannot cook a meal for less than 11 people cause that is how we rolled!!!

I have eggs – I have chickens – I have ducks (which I will not eat – partially because I’m not fond of duck but mostly because well they are pets)

I have enough rice to feed an army of Covid positive invaders and alcohol to sterilize the entire friggin’ all of my town.

BUT mostly I have patience – hoard your TP and your anti bac wipes – we are good.

Line up at stores hours before they open – hello click and collect!

Let’s keep our eye on the prize shall we people?

My friends – if you need a hand DM me – I am most happy to run errands.

My community – let’s be civil shall we?

My family – well – you know there are no ends to my efforts to keep all ya’ll safe, fed and liquored up!

Let us NOT let the mainstream media lower us to the levels of stupidity and grubbing and the lack of basic humanity.

At dawn!!! we RIDE!!! ok not sure where that came from but I was feeling mighty Lord of the Ringish there for a moment!

In summation and to quote a wise human – calm your tits people!!! – we will get thru this!

ps…I don’t really hate everyone – just those that are being asshats!

Tonight – I wanted to flash back to a previous post to see where I had gotten to in these years we have been through – trying to pick a post to actually re-post as a FU winter and I got to reading.

Man I was writing shit back on 2013!!!….2013 – hard to believe we have been here that long!

It’s fun to look back on my crappy writing style and to see the trials and tribs and to laugh and to cry.

Hennie’s shhhh stop your peeping – oh yes I have 3 hens in my office right now – too cold for them.

Winter really blew in this weekend.

Snow and cold and blowing about but meh – we’ve had worse.

January 19th 2014 was an “aha’ moment where I knew we were in it for the long haul.

January 20th 2015 enforced my need for precision timing and routine and maybe I need to lighten up a bit.

January 17th 2016 saw me in a funk/dark place  – shake that off!

January 21st 2017 sucked – enough said.

January 5th 2018 – I realized what a lazy blogger I have been and it was FN COLD!! so much so we got a heater to heat the barn for the birds!

AND January 21st 2019 – see below.

1. Hubs still gets called out in the wee hours of the morning.
2. My truck is typically still buried.
3. My calves are still aching an my lungs still burning – NOTE quitting smoking has helped.
4. Ponies still “Lord of the Dance” in the deep snow.
5. Heating this “barn” don’t cost no 600 bucks a month anymore – thank you propane
6. I still love our life.

Yep – still love it- somedays more than others – but still love it.

All things considered – I have it pretty nerfy – I have friends and family that have way more shit going on than I do – seriously.

I have a roof – food and the love of family and friends.

Quit your bitching guuurrrlll!!! and get your ass out and feed those ponies now!