Well…hello March – nice to see you again – I see you have once again come “in like a lion” – please tell me that you will acquiesce and go out like a lamb?

We are getting yet more snow – 10cms (5 inches) of snow – snow snow snow snow snow!! – you know – that white shit that falls from the sky?

I checked a reputable weather site today – I am being casually optimistic that this will end soon.

I miss Charles and Alicia (our cardinal couple) I have not seen them – I have heard them but not seen them all winter.

So – with that being said – I’ll move onto more positive thoughts.

I just came in from night feed – again – no matter how cold – still my favourite time of the day.

Just me and the herd.

I give them their hay and a scratchy – I make sure they are warm enough by pressing my lips to their ears – much like a mother tests the temp of a child -if their ears are cold they are cold – all nice and toasty tonight.

We chat about nonsensical stuff – the price of said hay – the new poops in the barn that I just cleaned – I pick snowballs out of their feet – again – applying a thin layer of Vaseline to stop the snow build up.

The snow was falling gently and I could hear the train in the distance – it was quiet – peaceful.

Come on Spring!!!

Oh note to all – TIME CHANGE THIS WEEKEND!!! woo hoooo!!!!

I am embedding a link here – posted a friend who I have yet to meet but am looking forward to meeting. A kindred farmer girl with a heart of gold and a sharp wit.

I hope you all can view and listen – it’s quite apropo– while I not a true farmer – I like to  play farmer and pretend.

Respect to farmers who work their lives so that we can eat!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UBj4Rbq3ZI

Been listening to the radio go on and on about how cold this February has been for us here in our region.

Like we did not already know that.

This February is a throwback to when we were kids and it was cold – bitter cold all month. I don’t like it.

I like winter – I really do – I love the clean air but I have to admit – like many of my fellow humankind – this February is really starting to grind on me!

The air hurts my face – I don’t want the air to hurt my face. I love it when my eyelashes stick together and I have constant snot bubbles. My nose is raw from blowing it and don’t even get me started on my hands!!! I have old lady dry hands like I have been a washer woman my whole life and no amount of Aveeno is going to cure that.

My hair – I totally give up. I should own friggin’ stock in static guard – poor cats get zapped every time I pet them.

Feet are always cold – the cost of heating is through the roof and I am feeling trapped indoors and long to sit in the sun and watch Charles and Alicia fly about.

I’m burning through so much gas because I have to start my car 20 minutes before I leave so when I get in and sit down it’s not like sitting on a concrete slab. Frozen pipes – deathsicles – shovelling snow – picking snowballs out of horses  feet – blankets on – blankets off- frozen poop ball marble ankle twisters – I could go on.

I’m sick of it – sick sick sick of it.

Radio people – SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP – we know it’s cold – stop reminding us!!!

And now that I have that out of my system – I will stop whining. Such first world problems.

We have established that February – this one any way sucks –

Take heeds friends – daylight savings time is a mere 10 days away more or less – and spring is just 24 more days.

We can survive – we are tough – we are CANADIAN!!!

Did you know that if you put vaseline in horses feet it will keep that snow from “balling” up making it hard for them to walk?

Did you know that blanketing your horse is more for your peace of mind than that of the horse – most horses can withstand quite cold temps by growing a shaggy coat? (pics this weekend from Little Horse and his amazing fur ball of a coat) – long winter hair traps a layer of heat between the skin and the long coat while tiny muscles in the skin make the hair stand on end trapping the heat in.

Did you know that in order for horses to maintain a good body temp of 38C – they must be fed higher fibre diets in the winter to keep them even body temp? and of course from getting bored 🙂

Did you know that most adult horses require 10/12 gallons of water per day? more in the colder weather?

Did you know that horses are better kept outside 24/7 in order to facilitate better breathing away from dusty stalls? I can’t keep mine in even if I tried real hard – when they are cold – they go in – as long as they have a good shelter from the wind – that is all they need.

Did you know that horses feet grow slower in the winter?

Did you know that my horses are the most spoiled horses that I know??

I constantly worry – are they cold? are they tired? are they comfy?

I look at my crew tonight  – after the tossing of the hay – and the scratchies and pats and the “good night – be good to each other” farewell.

Ya – they are fine – they are happy and they are thriving.

We’ve done good by them.

February to me is the most dreaded month- so close yet so far from Spring.

February’s only redeeming quality is that my daughter’s birthday is early in the month but truly the rest of it can piss off!!!

My daughter turned 27 this year  – holy man – she was like 5 a week ago.

And Valentine’s Day – while I deeply love my hubs – if he can’t get me a gift/card/flowers any other day of the year – don’t think that one little day is going to make up for it buddy!!! I am of course kidding.

Hubs is a true gem.

I had a friend message me to tell me how much she likes reading my blog. I, in turn, responded Thank You of course – I love to hear that people are enjoying my silliness and then I felt kinda bad.

I have not posted in a bit. I’m sorry.

I truly hate this February month – I say we start a petition to ban this month except of course my daughter’s birthday but she may be willing to change that – I’ll ask her and get back to you.

February is the shortest month but always seems the longest!!!

It is always colder and we are officially in countdown mode until two things – daylight savings time and spring.

FYI – Ladies and Gents – mostly Ladies – daylight savings time start is 26 days – count ’em 26 days.

While it must be noted that the days ARE getting longer – the sun IS getting warmer (if you stand still – wearing all black clothing and don’t breath) – it is coming.

Now- the question of the day my dear readers – will March come in like a lion and go out like a lamb??? It had better or I will officially bitch slap that month to February status and we will be left with just 10 months!

Hmmmm… 10 months?? will that throw off the space time continuum? – (I’m a geek)

Let’s do the math shall we??

January you are still on bliss from the holidays – still feeling that Christmas high – February/March – piss off!! – April – flowers are blooming (or you hope so or April my dear you’ll end up like February and March – just saying) – May – YEA!!! – June bliss – July bliss – August- bliss- September – the month of MY birth – so she stays – October – two things – Turkey (in Canada) and glorious fall colour – November – impending doom (this month is on the “list”) and December is Christmas – so when you break it down like that – I guess it’s not that bad – right??

So – my dears- a recap – February bite me – March you had better watch yourself – April – your good for now – May through September – you are fine- October – I will keep an eye on you – November – on the fence and December – you are fine but lucky because of Christmas.

Good lord – I just ran through a whole year.

I’m babbling.

Bottom line – I’m ready for Spring – it can any time- aaaannnndddd SPRING!! didn’t work but it will soon.

Have a great night/day/morning/afternoon – whatever your time zone- we are all in this together!!!

Today…is ground hog day…

To steal a line from the movie…”this is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat”.

Well – dear friends – I know exactly when winter will end – do you want to know?? Of course you do – winter will end – WHEN IT ENDS!!!

On the plus side – I did not need to go a huntin’ me a ground hog today because apparently we will have an early spring.

Spring will come when it gets here.

Can’t predict/control the weather – YET – bwahahahaha – working on it though.

So – February breeds ground hog day.

February – my least favourite month – the only redeeming quality that February has is that it is the birth month of my beautiful daughter. That will be this coming Wednesday and that will be a post of it’s own.

I just came back in from feeding the masses. What a beautiful night. The wind has finally died down and the moon was so bright I did not even need my trusty flash light.

I sat for a bit – as I often do. Once they have their hay – they settle and we can have a chat.

We chat about their day – or really the listen to me bitch about my day.

My days lately – uugghhh – let’s just say that I am not enjoying my job as much as I used to and I hope for that feeling to change soon.

BUT – at the end of my day – weather be damned – I get to come home and trudge through knee deep snow to take care of my cherished creatures. It could be waste deep – I don’t care.

My treasured creatures are my motivation. They ask so little – they give so much.

I wonder if they know that they could be charging me $150/hour for the therapy they provide? They love to paid in hay and carrots and scratchies.

I have made it a goal to cook more healthy meal. Winter – because of timing typically sees us eating frozen pizza with salad. It’s quick and easy. Everyone would be so proud of me – I actually cooked 7 whole real meals in a row last week that included vegetables, protein and creativity. No frozen pizzas and no store bought salads. Real home cooking.

Look at me – I am babbling tonight. I must be tired.

Thanks for listening. I do appreciate each and everyone of you who actually reads this.

We all struggle with this stupid winter blah feeling and it’s nice to know that I am not alone.

Feel free to comment or send topics for entries- I would be more than happy to share your story!!!

Sorry – this has taken a little longer than anticipated.

As stated in last post – I run my farm with military precision – mornings that is.

They are fairly uncomplicated – nothing has upset the apple cart yet so I can be pretty  spot on when it comes to getting the days started.

Evenings however, they can be a bit unpredictable. So much has happened during the day and it can take the slightest little twitch to dump that apple cart on it’s sorry ass!!

I have chosen almost “worse case scenario” for the evening run.

I typically leave work at 1650 – any earlier and I hit traffic – any later and I hit traffic. So, timing is key!

Once I am out of the grind of the city – it it usually smooth sailing down back country roads – pushing the speed limit of course.

I try to make sure any errands I have to run I do on my lunch break so as not to have to stop on the way home. Sometimes lunch break is a foreign creature so occasionally I have to stop – not too often.

I typically get home at 1735 – give or take.

Bag is dropped and upstairs I got to shake off the work’a’day me – make up is wiped away and the perfectly coiffed hair is pulled back in a pony tail. Off with the heels and hose and on with the real clothes. Heavy socks, flannel pants and hoodie as this season dictates.

1745 sees me layering up in my Farmer Jane’s and grabbing the feed for the Herd. Outside cats come inside for a bit to get warm- grab trusty flashlight and out to feed the idiots.

NOW – this is where it can go to hell in a hand basket in seconds!!

Moods pending – it can be smooth as silk – grain, grain, grain, however if they are feeling frisky it can be grain, grain, grain – and stop this horse from eating that ones grain and this one from running me over, that one from freaking out because “OMG – HE LOOKED AT ME!!” – yes – they are much like children sometimes. Grain eaten and a flake of hay each later and I commence to de-pooping my barn. When it’s warmer – I take my time – when it is as cold as it is tonight – I rush!!!

Those little poop balls freeze fast so I like to make sure I get them all because should they decide to sleep inside and lie down on one – well “Princess and the Pea” syndrome!!

This typically takes 20 minutes. Then I check the water trough to make sure they have enough. If I need to fill it (like I did tonight) I have to go to the cellar – struggle with the hose – hook it up and do the “hose dance” out to the trough – trying not to trip and fall ass over tea kettle – go back to the cellar and turn the tap on. If it is frozen – get the torch and un-thaw it – tonight it was NOT – SCORE!!!

This takes 10 minutes.

By now we are 1820-1830ish- coil up the hose – lock the door and head back inside.

Start dinner. When I am feeling ambitious (IE smart) I’ll throw something in the slow cooker and dinner is done when I get home. When I am lazy – frozen pizza and salad or something simple.

We are now 1920ish and dinner – dishes done. Note- tonight I thought it would be fun to slice open my pinkie on my super sharp knife – blood everywhere – no stitches needed – at least I don’t think so but that is uncommon. Hey – it stopped bleeding so I am good.

We eat – we sit – we chat and then we get dressed to go back out and feed hay for the night. Sometimes hubs comes with me – sometimes not. He is usually pretty tired and if he falls asleep after dinner – it’s all good.

I have have energy to burn and I can’t sit still very long.

Tonight’s feed was exceptional – nice and quiet. I changed out a blanket and everyone was calm and serene.

I doused the outside flood lights and looked up at the stars.

Wonder!!! it is so clear tonight!! You can see the comet near Orion’s Belt and Jupiter is so bright I am sure you could read by it. It biting cold and dead quiet – beautiful.

This is a typical winter night.

Now – throw in a farrier for hoof trim with stupid horses and you have a different story or someone stopping by or a cat that is missing and it changes. (oh side note – my farrier is super hot!!)

Nothing changes the night feed though. It could snow – whatever – or rain – or be windy but the solitude on this cold cold night was magical.

I run my days/nights with military precision during the week.

Every second/minute is accounted for.

God help the person who messes with that flow.

During the week – I start my day at 0515.

0515 – UP – shower – stumble downstairs – tripping over cats to make cup of coffee. Feed cats while water is boiling.

0518 – back upstairs – still tripping over cats to dry hair and pick ensemble for the day.

0519 – start drying hair – dry dry dry – flat iron flat iron flat iron – screw it – it’s a pony tail kinda day.

0535 – make bed. Pick and discard multiple outfits which of course every one of them needs ironing – screw it – throw them in drier with damp towel to ease the wrinkles. Who the hell has time to iron??

0550 – start donning out door gear – layers – it’s all about layers.

0555 – cat food and beet pulp in hand open garage door to greet starving cats. Turn on outdoor flood lights.

0557 – find flash light and open back door to walk the “green mile” to the prancing herd of idiots who are starving.

0600 – meet and greet my said prancing herd of idiots- grain grain grain – clean up the barn and make sure he does not steal his food while she is eating to make sure she does not get her food stolen – screw it – you guys figure it out.

0610 – after walking on the field of frozen poop marbles get hay – dump in feeder – gotta feed Girl Horse separately – the boys do NOT like to share – load up trusty sled to toss hay here there and everywhere to facilitate them moving about.

0620 – Back into the house to do the dance of getting out of all the winter gear.

NOTE – no cold hands and wet feet yet – read back through last year’s winters posts – I did a lot of bitching about that!

0630- take ensemble of the day out of dryer and wrinkle free

0632  – brush teeth

0633 – get dressed – DAMMIT – I am so NOT feeling this outfit today – rummage and find something else – no wrinkles?? score – if wrinkled DAMMIT I’ll wear what I picked the first time – but I won’t like it!!!

0634 – while brushing teeth – run outside to start truck.

0635 – get dressed – apply make up – and flat iron hair more because stupid winter hat made it frizz. Stupid frizz – pony tail.

0637 – pack bag and turn off all the lights that I have turned on as a reminded that I needed to do something in that room.

0640 – drive to work – 40 minutes.

0720(ish) until 1700 – AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

NOTE – when my son is here  – 0610 means wake up and breakfast for him while he does his thing and is in the truck with me asleep before we hit the end of the driveway and drop him at his fathers – NOW – when he is not at our house – skip up to 0720 – back up to 0710 where I stop at his fathers to wake him and make sure he is ready to face the day with a smile because the first 10 minutes of your day dictate how your day will go so I make sure he is awake and engaged and he knows that I love him.

I have been doing this routine for just over a year as a farmer. The routine with my son – I have been doing for 15 years – his happiness means that much to me.

Evening routine is a little different and I’ll post that one either tomorrow or Monday.

FYI – weekends are a free for all – I sleep in until at least 0600 and it’s a different flow.

Oh – maybe I will do a video when it’s light and you can see it – that would be cool – not the shower part I do have some dignity. Yes or at least record it and post it.

A glimpse at my day.

Now you know why I go to bed at 2100!!!

I am a pretty simple person – I take joy in the simple things in life.

It’s list time folks – in no particular order.

1. Having the pipes that were previously frozen this morning preventing me from showering in MY bathroom – no longer frozen – thanks Hubs!!

2. Making dinner – I have a love hate relationship with cooking – so time consuming- so satisfying when plates are cleaned.

3. Cats – enough said.

4. The crunch of the snow under my feet on this night- it’s so quiet outside – the stars so bright you swear you can pick them from the sky – I do love winter nights like this.

5. My children and their continuous drama 🙂 – to my children – I promise – if you are struggling emotionally, financially, it will get better – I promise.

6. The appreciative nicker I get when my herd hears me crunching across the snow – FEEDING TIME!!! I like to think they are happy to see me – but I do control the food and they are starving doncha know!

7. The train whistle – in the distance – we have 23 trains go by our area every day- I have counted – it’s an eerie sound but so cool.

8. Fresh air – one of my favourite things about winter- no smog – no pollutions – just crisp clean air.

9. Hubs flat out on the couch – mouth wide open – snoring away – I guess dinner was good!

10. Cats – again with the cats!!! – I can’t help it – they are everywhere – outdoor cats integrated to indoor cats because it so cold.

11. Wine  – red or white – I don’t care- tonight a very nice Pinot Noir – exceptional.

12. Life – my life – our lives – life in general – call me crazy – yes I am glaringly aware that I am somewhat off my rocker – life is great.

13 My herd- I have made it no secret my favourite time of day is night feed. To sit and listen to the munching – to scratch that itchy blanket spot – to breath in the distinct aroma that is horse – ahhhh- joy!!!

Joy – it’s all around us – in the simple things – like mentioned above.

Find your joy! – I have!

Well my friends- Winter has arrived at Orange Acres with a vengeance.

After a green Christmas followed by positively balmy temps – we are now in DEEP FREEZE!!!!

The temp has been slowly declining for a couple of days – riddled with snow and clouds and yuck.

Temp tonight my friends – -28C (-18F) with a wind chill of -40C (-40F) -HEY we are on par with the US – not like our dollar of course (snicker).

If you have read my winter of last year’s posts – I cursed the cold and wet feet and mittens- and snow and burning lungs etc etc etc.

We have been relatively luck this year so far.

Tonight’s adventure is brought to you by the letter “AAARRRGGGHHH!!!”

The herd when I got home was full of piss and vinegar – running around with heads and tails in the air  – heels flying.

It’s hard enough to trudge through the ice and snow without having to worry about getting run over or pegged by an rambunctious horse.

They would not settle – the barn was a mess – which is good because that means they stayed inside where it is warm but come time to give them their grain – idiots!!

They all got yelled at – if you can’t play nice – get the hell out of my barn!! I tossed them some hay to keep them occupied while I played “picking the poopsicle” and then proceeded to invite them inside in a calm and orderly fashion.

Did that work?? NOPE!! – get the hell out if you are not going to behave!!

By this time – my face hurts – my hands are cold and my feet – I think I still have feet – not sure – can’t feel ’em.

I feed them outside – not wishing to get them riled up any more – toss them extra hay.

Yep sure burned through a lot of hay today. I am sucker.

Night feed was better.

Big Horse in his stall napping – have some hay – Girl Horse pacing – clearly starving because she has not eaten in at least an hour – have some hay- Little Horse- idiot- I wanted him in tonight keeps ducking under his rope gate – outside – simply does NOT want to be in – have some hay.

Hay here – hay there.

Quick check under blankets to see if they are warm – yep – all warm- quick check of ears – all warm.

Outside cats in – Outside cats out – in/out – it’s the “inny/outty game” in the heated garage.

Settling in for the night

Sure hope the “Snap” does not last long.

Happy New Years everyone – may 2015 bring you joy and happiness and just enough silliness to keep it real!!!

Reflecting on this past year – I have made a plethora of discoveries. In no particular order.

5. Wild Parsnip is toxic shit! you get that stuff on your skin and it will burn a hole in it – beware!!!

2. Cats – if they are not fixed will continue to multiply until you have your own army of cats to do your bidding!! (insert evil laugh here)

• We were blessed with a multitude of kittens this year and each and everyone of them (except those we decided to keep) have been given excellent homes. PS. all breeding cats have been fixed – no more kittens!!!