Let’s get the weather oddities out of the way first – it is 3 degrees Celsius here!!! – high of 9-11 tomorrow – hello winter??? I cannot recall so mild a December 24th and while I am not complaining – a white Christmas would be nice – not white mixed with brown mud!!!

Which brings me to my next topic – Christmas.

Here already – wow – time flies.

I’ve been bouncing back and forth most of the day trying to make this post epic!! – scribbling notes here and there while I wrap and prep and wander around the house.

I was off work today – well not off – I am never really off unless I actually delete my work email app from my phone.

Had to be in the city early this morning to pick up my son and take him to campus to pay homage to the tuition Gods – CHACHING!!! Bank account empty. My Mother in Law  -wise woman – put that very succinctly – it’s an investment. An investment in my son’s future. So he can take care of me when I am a drooling old lady.

Blazing out of the city at warp 8 to the candy store – grocery store – all important liquor store and home to unpack – wrap presents and prep for dinner on Friday.

A delightful visit from my sister and her two booger monsters with fresh baked cookies and treats. Children at Christmas are like hamster on Red Bull!!! Now if I could only figure out how to bottle that energy – I would not have to freak out about those bastard tuition Gods!!!

Nap and off we go to Mother in Laws for dinner.

That is a tradition!! For the last 14 years- we have gathered at my Mother in Laws for home made enchiladas and wine and fun.

Stuffed to the gills and home again – and off to my favourite part of the evening – I wander to the barn to toss the herd each a flake of hay and give them each a candy cane and sit in the mild weather. Such a nice night.

Inside again – finish wrapping – gather my scribbles to sit down and write and well – none of them really make sense –  so off the cuff.

This Christmas was the Christmas of the “re-gift”. Last year was the thrift shop, dollar store, discount store.

Why do we needs to empty our bank accounts to get so and so that chocolate fountain that they will use once??

We don’t. Hence the re-gift – the rule was that one gift had to be a re-gift OR home made and if it had to be purchased -it had to be inexpensive.

I personally don’t want my family to be stressed about having to spend hard earned money in this stupid economy on me – so I made it mandatory for everyone to dial it down.

For me – a hug is fine – a thank you – a bottle of wine – a tin of cookies or cakes or sweets – a poem – whatever.

One thing that I have learned in this last year is that money is evil and scarce in (and I use the term loosely) a farmer (very loosely).

Bottom line – Merry Christmas to all my family and friends – I am sending a hug – hope you get it – it is not refundable but it is reciprocal.

I appreciate everything that you have done for me this past  year and I am thankful for all you.

I wish you joy and happiness in this season.

It has been so very mild as of late.

Not that I am complaining – sure beats putting on 5 layers for a 10 minute job – takes me long to get dressed than it does to do chores!!!

We have survived a bout of colic AND a bout of lameness thanks to the help of some amazing friends and neighbours.

Big Horse is on the mend which is great – I worry so about him sometimes. Not in his norm but he takes it all in stride.

Dressing a lame horse can be such a chore – specifically is said lame horse does not like to stand still. It adds 30 minutes morning and night to my routine which I could give a tiny rats ass about. It’s all for them.

Some people obsess about their children – me I obsess about my Herd.

Are they cold? are they too warm? blankets on, blankets off. Am I over feeding? are they hungry? More hay, less hay. Not enough water? Too much water – OK NEVER too much water.

Add the kittens heads – where is O2 – oh there he is – Mali, Mali come one girl. Where has Lylabelle gotten too have not seen her in ohhh 8 hours – is she ok?

Hi – my name is Regina and I have OCD regarding my animals!!!

Here’s the thing. My children for the most part are self sufficient. 26 and 21, they can fend for themselves. I adore them and would do anything for them.

My animals – my cats and my horses – I am pretty sure I need them as much as they need me.

They are the driving force that has me putting on my smelly Farmer Jane’s with my wrecked finger nails and wet feet – getting up in the wee hours and making sure all is well. Grain, beet pulp, hay and supplements. Dragging my trusty sled with bleary eyes to insure their day time hay is spaced apart to be sure they are moving around.

Googling lameness, feet, legs – lameness, colic, remedies. Wondering and wondering – OK – did I do that right?

I am fortunate as I have a wealth of knowledge I can draw on with friends – Thank you all so much.

Thank you Mother Nature for cutting me some slack this month with regard to the weather. I do really appreciate it and look forward to your Winter Solstice in 4 DAYS!!! Not that I am counting.

While this may not be as inspiring as other posts – I typically feel the need to post after I sense something special.

There is something innately magical about feeding my herd at night – particularly in the winter.

The moon is full and it is bright tonight – no need for the artificial light of my trusty flash light to guide my way. Just enough snow on the ground to light my way to the magic kingdom that is my barnyard.

My ever appreciative subjects – waiting for me as I am the Queen and I deign to wander out to see them.

The soft wuffle from their throat as if saying – “Oh my – thank you your Majesty for gracing us with your presence”.

But it is not I who reign in this Kingdom – it is them. Their soft noses and warm breath tickle my face as I scratch that place that they cannot reach while they stretch their necks high with noses twitching in appreciation.

The moon is so bright I could read/write an epic novel of the scents and sounds I hear in this winter wonderland.

Clop, clop, clop go their feet as they walk to me while I toss hay here, there and everywhere so they move about. I worry – the ground is hard and uneven on their feet – stepping tentatively.

My favourite time of this day is the night feed. When it is cold and still and I can serve my masters/mistress to keep them happy and safe and loved.

I do not reign over them – they have captured my heart and I do what I do because they are magnificent creatures who allow me to co-exist with them.

Big Horse, Little Horse and Girl Horse are a joy in my life that wash away the stress that is my day.

They ask for little and give so much in return.

A horse is the only creature on earth where you know exactly where you stand. When you respect the horse – the horse will respect you and I respect.

I have had the most delightful conversation with a very dear and very close friend.

She is one of my life sisters. I met her in NYC a few years back and we became fast friends. I again then had the joy of seeing her again this past month at a trade show it is was like time stopped.

We sat – we chatted – we drank red wine and chatted some more – so much to catch up on – so little time.

She posted the most amazing message today – “no matter where you go there you are” – being the smart ass I am – I countered with “and no matter where you are – there you go”.

My friends is so clever – her reply “but are you who you are -no matter what.. no matter where”

This got me to thinking – I did reply FYI – “the person I am at home and in life is different to the person I am at work. I try to be me at work but sometimes me is not who I need to be so I be someone else sometimes.

Her brilliant response “Work doesn’t count – it’s like the space between…you my jewel are just perfectly you”

My brain went into overtime and out popped a post.

We all have a role we play in life. Mother, daughter, sister, brother, parent.

Work Me – is not real Me. Work Me can be a bit of a bitch. OK – She can be a real bitch. I do try to leave Work Me at work as much as possible. Sometimes She follows me home and sneaks out but not because She is welcome but because She is part of me. I spend the better part of my week as Work Me. She has a high pressure job that is demanding. She deals with some interesting people that try Her patience daily. She is well paid for what She does…but She is not me.

Me is well…me – Home/Life me is a nice person I would like to think. I hope others thinks so. Home/Life me loves working outside and shovelling horse shit and slogging through mud and playing with kittens. She always has cold hands and wet feet and curses the bad weather. She loves her family so much and her friends and her horses and critters. She smells like barn and has hay in her hair most of the time. Home/Life me gets precious little time being Farm Me.

It’s mostly delegated to evenings and weekends. The weekends fly by and then it is back to Work Me.

It’s a delicate balance between Work Me and Home/Life Me. I would of course prefer to be Home/Life Me all the time – but Work Me pays the bills so I’ll put on Her clothes and make up and play the part of Her – it’s OK – but deep down – I am Farmer Me and I am a jewel because my dearest friend told me I am.

This will be a bit heavy tonight folks – so apologies.

Today would have been my mothers – uhhhh- somethingish birthday – I am really bad with numbers.

My sister had a stressful day attending a funeral and I am sure that it brought up a lot of bad memories and feelings.

So we posted on the FB and wow – do we have family and friends supporters.

My dear cousin then started to reminisce about our summers in purgatory – or so I thought at that time in my life -of being shuttled off to my Grandparents in the sticks outside of Quebec City. Little did I know that I would long for for that simplicity again.

It’s funny how a series of posts can conjure up memories that you have forgotten.

My family both immediate and extended is quite large and we spent a lot of time together as children. Mostly at my grandparents.

My cousin posted a series of memories she had while there that brought on a flood of memories that I had and so on and so on and so on.

I have cousins that I have not seen in years – and some I see quite frequently – I try and keep in touch with my sisters and brother as often as possible but we all get busy and life gets in the way at times.

As I write of the memories and the sadness I feel at the loss of both parents – my dear friend posted the following – and I quote…

“You know that’s how we remain immortal – its very special. I hope that when I am gone I will continue to agitate, aggravate, inspire and hopefully fill up my kids with never ending love” – end quote.

I shall add to this – to fill up my family and – near and far and friends both met and have never met with never ending love.

I and my family were fortunate to have our parents as long as we did and I would not be the woman I am now without their support which I never accepted as a youth – their love which I miss dearly and daily and their wisdom – even though at the time I thought they were full of shit.

I was a less than obedient child. Regretfully I was not nice to my parents at times and challenged them. It caused a rift and my stupidity and pride got in the way – however I was fortunate enough to realise my stupidity and made peace. My father worshipped my children and my mother was my rock in tough times.

My parents values and what they taught me has been instilled in me and I have instilled these values in my children.

I would not be the parent I am now without their guidance.

Would I do it differently if I could whisk myself back to that time and actually listen to them because they were right?? Nope  – wouldn’t be where I am now if I could.

So – I cherish their memory and their faces in photos and know that they did right by all of us with the little they had and am proud to bear the name I bear because of them.

Memories are a window to the past and shape the future of our lives and those who we love.

I love my family – I love my friends and when they suffer the loss I will be there for them as they have been for me.

Thank you all and much love.

Road trip week – I hate the being away from home at this time of the year – it’s double duty for Hubs and who knows what the hell Mother Nature is going to PMS about.

Chicago – I gotta tell ya – it was actually colder there.

I left Sunday – Sunday was a bad day.

I actually had it all organise and planned. I was ready!! I was in the process of filling out my US Declaration card when I noted that the hotel was down town Chicago – which I thought odd because the event I was attending was near the airport.

On a lark I called the hotel to confirm my reservation (thank God) – “No Miss – you reservation was cancelled”

“By who” I politely asked ” Because it was not me”

Hotel “It was cancelled months ago”

Me “Is there another Crowne Plaza in Chicago?”

Hotel “Yes out by the airport”

Me “Could you check there please?”

Hotel “Yes Miss that was cancelled”

Dun dun DUNNNN!!!

I am literally 30 minutes away from leaving with no hotel.

So I started calling hotels – “Do I have a reservation? Do I have a reservation?”

No room at the Inn.

Then panic set in – I am about to get on a plane to a city and I have no accommodations.

Phase Two – find hotel – in a major city – where one of the biggest trade shows of the year is starting Monday – this should be fun.

Hotel after hotel after hotel – nothing – I finally got a hit at the Marriott – BUT – the rate – $360 per night!!! I can’t authorise that – so I called my boss – no answer – I called his boss – no answer – I called middle boss – at home.

Me “Dude – sorry to call you at home” and then I explained my situation.

Middle Boss “Book it and go”

Boss calls.

Me “I HAVE NO HOTEL – but I can get one Uber expensive”

Boss – Book it and go”

In the mean time – Hubs is explaining that we are about to get snow.

What happens when we get snow? Well for starters it snows – but Hubs has to work the over night!!!

CRAP!!! Who will feed the horses???

Eureka!!! Alicia to the rescue – again!!!! She fed – she cleaned – she organised so I would not have to rush tomorrow – AND – she somehow magically manages to calm everyone in their new stalls with no issues.

When I got home tonight – Big Horse was in his stall – eating – Little Horse was in his stall eating and Girl Horse was in her stall eating.

What the??? what is this magic? That girl – I’m telling you.

So I guess now come the rants of the frozen hoses and Farmer Jane’s and burning lungs again.

Winter Part Deux!!!

This is going to be interesting!!!!

Causality  – tis the relation between an event (the cause) and a second event (the effect) where the second event is understood as a physical consequence of the first.

Mock me if you will but the Matrix franchise of movies has always been one of my favourites.

The Matrix Reloaded – not my favourite of the franchise still had an amazing scene in which the Merovingian explains the concept of causality – one of my favourites scenes – but I digress.

Don’t worry -I am not turning this Blog into a who’s who in movies etc – I was motivated/inspired this evening.

It’s funny how all these random thoughts come to me at night feed. It must be the relaxation on knowing that it is the end of my day where I go out in the cold (yep it’s chilly here today) to feed my charges.  Munch munch munch – I love that sound.

We have all done some pretty stupid things – poor choice of words – sorry- made some less that favourable decisions on our lives.

I myself have made some pretty stupid decisions. Getting married too young – not finishing school – having a child too young  – staying married too long.

But that is where causality kicks in. Had I not gotten married too young – I would have finished school and perhaps been a lawyer – where I may not have met my ex husband which would have caused me to not get pregnant and have a child (my daughter – my best friend) leading me to be essentially dependant on someone (silly girl) to get pregnant again (my son – my best friend) – leading me to get separated and divorced – leading me to meet hubs – to have my current job to be sitting here writing this post.

Cause and effect!

For every action – there is a reaction – positive or negative all depends on the reaction.

One must make the decisions that are right for them. Not worrying about what others will think or say or do.

It is great to have someone to depend on for sure – I love that feeling to know that someone has my back – no matter what. But in the end – One makes that decision that is best for them.

I once made the mistake of telling someone to NEVER rely on anyone else – that was after the end of a marriage. Never rely on someone else financially – emotionally – totally. I was bitter and it was bad advice. 

It is OK to rely on someone else – when that someone really loves you and you know if the situation were reversed – you would do the same for them – it is absolutely 100 frigging percent OK.

I am actually not sure the point that I am trying to make here.

Causality – cause and effect – action reaction.

My point – my point – I guess I really don’t have a point.

It’s OK to make mistakes – it’s OK to do what is right for you to fix them  -it’s OK to rely on others – it’s OK to maintain your individuality – it’s OK to know yourself – it’s OK to be taken care of by someone.

On the back end of this – I have the day off tomorrow SCORE!!!! – I am going to sleep in and come hell or high water we will finish that wall this weekend.

I have a road trip to the Windy City come Sunday – sigh – I do hate being away from home.

Blech!!! – the dreaded fall time change – spring ahead – fall back.

I hate fall back!! Extra hour of sleep my butt! – the day still does have 24 hours in it.

Oh wait – I think I bitched about this last year.

Yes – flashback November 2, 2013 – TIME CHANGE MAYHEM!!!

Well not so much mayhem now – I guess I have gotten into the routine. I knew it was coming – I prepped for it and of course I am experienced in the Lord of the Dance -stupidity factor of starving horses in the morning.

I am trying to be “glass half full” – it was semi light this morning when I went to feed the herd. It was nice to drive into work in the light instead of it just getting light when I got to to work.

It still sucked driving home in the dark! Still sucked – will suck and won’t stop sucking until December 21st when the days start getting longer.

NOW – I have to figure out how to ride in the dark. Just because the time changed does not mean I will change.

I’m thinking flood lights. Strategically mounted flood lights. I don’t need much light. Hell the horse can see better than I can.

Barn is almost done- back fill some gaps at  the foundation with 2 inch stone and hang a couple of doors, ah yes – block one upstairs window to keep the wind out.

Now we just have to get the horses to go in it.

Girl Horse could care less – she’s a girl though – we adapt to change. Little Horse eye balled it  – snorted and then realised there was food in there. Big Horse – well his world is crashing down in rubble – what have they done!!! nooo – the horror. He’ll live.

It will be nice to be able to put them up should it get really cold – other than that they stay out.

Sigh – time change. I do so hate time change.

Well now – I would like it if someone could please tell me when the days started getting shorter please – rhetorical question of course.

I have a rule while driving in the morning – when Samantha (my gps) kicks in from night mode to day mode – it’s time to put my sunglasses on.

I leave my house every morning at precisely 0640 – ass in seat my friends.

As of late – it seems to me that the time to put on said glasses is getting later and later – hmmm  – interesting.

I leave work at precisely (ish) 1645 – ass in seat my friends.

I have noted that by the time the “crew” is fed, mucked and we have had our little discussion on how their day way – it’s getting dark  – hmmmm – interesting.

Could it be? could the dreaded time change be coming – surely the clocks just sprang ahead – I wrote about it  – did I not?

It’s upon us isn’t it?

It’s time to break out my sled – dust off my “Farmer Janes” and be prepared to play the game of wet feet/cold hands again.

This year – I am a year wiser. My schedule is on lock. I can pound out morning chores in 15 minutes. Legs are stronger – I have a few more aches and pains – my barn is almost done – the “crew” will be comfortable.

We will conserve fuel oil – we will get more rest- we will get Netflix for those long nights.

I am excited for this change in season. Every change in season has been such an adventure. There is mud season, hot season, bug season, hot season, mud season, bug season – oh wait I said those already.

A cheers to a new season – may it be as adventurous as the last season!!

I can’t believe it has been almost a month since my last post!! Time sure flies.

Okay – let’s crank this bad boy out!!

1. Celebrated our year anniversary being farmers after a fashion – YEA US!!!
2. Participated in a Poker Run – it’s like a car rally on horseback – took me days to recover from that.
3. Work Work Work!!!
4. We have been working our crew hard!! – the incomparable Alicia has been a delight and wonder getting Big Horse in shape and continues to work his butt off – secretly – he enjoys it.
4. Girl Horse has settled nicely – boy she is a firecracker.
5. I celebrated my GULP – 49th birthday – but ssssshhhh – age is still a secret 🙂
6. My hips are shot – all the riding has taken it’s toll on this old lady!! I am fighting it and will NOT let it slow me down.
7. Thanksgiving is coming and I ordered my first FRESH FRESH turkey and I mean it’s going to the “spa” on Wednesday and coming back as a kick ass dinner this coming weekend!!

In a nutshell – that is what has been happening.

Not much inspiration as of late – no kicks in the head – no epiphanies – just life.

We are all just living. The days are getting shorter- the geese are leaving us – the nights are cooler and we know what lies ahead.

Like last year – I am sure I will be caught off guard my Mother Nature’s first blast -with lungs aching and thighs burning BUT this time- we are seasoned veterans.

We will get through whatever she has to throw at us and before you know it – I’ll be seeing Rudy the Robin and complaining about mud. I’ll be seeing crocus’s bloom and inhaling the first breath of spring air.

Me thinks this coming season will be one of the best seasons of our lives!!!

And now some pictures

This is Alicia and Big Horse

This is all of us at the end of a great ride

Lola and I – the smile says it all!

Alicia and Big Horse again – I’d be sunk without her!!!