Sorry

I’m so tired of all the evil in the world.

I don’t like to use this blog for political views. I like to keep it light and airy and fun for the most part.

But I’m sitting here reading the news  – crying because I am sick and tired of all the negativity in the world.

The deaths – the attacks – the evil.

It is troubling that this is what my children are having to live in and those who have yet to have children???

It’s no wonder there are people out there chasing an imaginary cartoon characters because when you look at what is happening in the real world – man – it’s hard to deal with.

Real shit is happening – people are dying – riots – terrorist attacks – when will it end?

I want to go back to rainbows and lollipops where we could play outside and be afraid.

When you could turn on the news and get a real accounting of life and not the sensationalized shit that the networks are spewing daily.

It’s is a small wonder that youths are so messed up – they keep jamming fear and hate and bullshit down their throats!!

When will it end?

NOTE Blogger spell check down I’ll fix errors later!

It’s hot – I mean like hotter than the fires of hell and damnation hot!!

40 degrees C (American friends – I’m sorry – that is math I simply cannot do in my head and too hot to look up)

Does not help that I have hot flashes every 30 minutes or so but that is an entirely different set of issues.

Hot – feelin’ hot hot hot! HOT!

It’s hot and dry in our little area – so much so that they are calling it a drought and people are starting to panic with the lack of hay to feed their animals.

I’m not worried – there will always be hay – price gouging hay but there will be hay.

Back to the topic at hand.

Lightnin’ bugs – fireflies – Lampyridae – conspicuous use of bioluminesence during twilight hours to attract mates or prey.

To me – it’s called a throw back.

Walking out this evening to make sure my herd was secure and my flocks were tucked in – I couldn’t help but stop and stare at the wonder that these little winged creatures glow and move and dance through the long grass – tempting those to come hither.

It is simply amazing how such a small little creature can evoke such a strong memory of chasing and catching and putting in a glass jar to ohhhh and ahhh in the wonder of Mother Nature’s achievement.

As an adult and recognizing that I could not entrap this wonder – it still makes me flash back to simpler times where the stress of the work day and life and paperwork and chores and…and …and…sigh.

Sitting here – remembering those simple times- I’m weary.

Weary of the stress our family has endured the past 6 months – weary of where my hay is going to come from – weary of the state of our world and our society. Weary.

But wait – why?

I have lightin’ bugs – they are dancing outside my window – I can turn around and see them and I smile.

Excuse me – I am going to cut this short – I am going to put on my boots and go out to the back field and just watch them dance around.

Sorry – I fully intended to go somewhere with this – I gotta go- they don’t stay up that late – later.

My most favourite and most hated day of the year- June 20th.

Favourite – my amazing nephew was born on this day – my kindred spirit in the love for the equine species – a brilliant rider – trainer and amazing human – Happy Birthday Josh!!! Luv ya!!

The longest day of the year – 2109 and the sun has just set – the weather today has been quite odd- Mother Nature is having a serious hot flash with temps and humidity abound. While I love the summer – I hate the heat!!

Hated because – it’s all downhill and shorter days from here.

Coupled with severe thunder storm warnings and tornado watches – yikes!!!

Circumstances forced me back outdoors with having forgotten something in the barn moments ago.

As I glanced at the sky I had to take a moment to wonder in it’s brilliance of orange and red shining down and covering everything in this most amazing glow!!

Trees, grass, dirt, even horses had this orange tinge that made me smile.

And then it hit me – this moment – right now – this is truly Orange Acres!!

By the time I got back outside with my camera to take a picture to share – it had passed.

It was just for me – that one “click” in your life that only you see and can never “un-see”.

Welcome to Orange Acres – all are welcome- if we are here- we have cold drinks and stories – if not – wander around – careful that fence is live – check on my flocks and make sure Lucky, Madge and Ruth have cool water. If you see hay in the wheel barrow – toss it to my herd – they surely won’t mind.

Come back later and I’ll have fresh eggs.

So – the homestead is currently under going a reconstruction – that is what you get when you buy a 150 year old plus house – new foundation – new roof – new new new!!!

We have added duck ducks to our menagerie – Muscovy ducks – Lucky, Madge and Ruth. (thanks again Christine)

They have assimilated well. They are vastly amusing and an endless source of entertainment.

FACT – did you know that ducks (much like dogs) shake their little tail feathers when they are content and happy?? Thanks to my son and google for that little gem!

Mama hen’s clutch is due to hatch starting this coming Monday- I’m excited to see what pops out if anything – who knows – I’ll sell these ones – perhaps after picking a few or all for us LOL.

This past weekend – I participated again in the Rope for Hope for Make a Wish.

I was a cheerleader this year while my son took the leap of faith down 14 stories in support of the most amazing cause to grant wishes to children – my heart soared to see him conquer his fear and kick ass!!

And of course our team – the top fund raising team in this region did some serious damage – LOVE!!!!

This week – whew- this week has been tough.

Warning – this is going to get a little heavy and perhaps a little depressing so if you care to skip this post I will by no means be offended.

I am not looking for sympathy either – just getting it out in words.

For me – it is cathartic to write.

I am not sure I have ever written about it but my son suffers from a mental disability. Depression, Anxiety and PTSD.

Depression – what youth today is not suffering from this? Constantly bombarded by social media and parents to do this – be that and make sure you are perfect all the time takes a toll on ones soul.

Anxiety – what youth today is not suffering from this? Constantly being bombarded by social media and parents to do this – be that and make sure you are perfect all the time takes a toll on ones soul.

PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – coined in 1980 to “assign” a term to the effects of war and battle on Veterans but has made it’s way into every day life for those who has suffered a traumatic loss, event, etc in their lives. This is relatively new to his age group but quite real.

A dangerous cocktail of emotional disorders (if you will) thrust onto someone too young to understand coupled with a parent (not me) who had mental issues as well.

Tick tick tick – BOOM!

In my post of January 31st – titled “Sadness” I wrote about the unexpected loss of my children’s father – my ex husband.

He committed suicide and I feel compelled to write about it for the sole reason of what our house has gone through this past week.

While my daughter has struggled with the loss – no doubt/no question at all – my son  – I think – has born the brunt of this situation.

Already struggling with emotional and mental issues – this week was the BOOM we were waiting for – we were expecting it.

Passive Suicidal Ideation is a term I have become intimately acquainted with.  I won’t bore you with the Wiki explanation but needless to say it is a term I have learnt this week and will not soon forget.

The stress of watching one of the most important people in your life suffer and not be able to do anything about it – man oh man – it is rough.

Gone are the days of kiss it and make it better – gone are the days when a Scooby Doo band aid patched it up.

It’s real life shit now.

So – we make the appointments and we listen and we research and we learn everything that we can in order to help my son deal with this, all the while,  never forgetting that we have to learn to deal with it as well.

My daughter pissed me off this week. She is my voice of reason. “Mum… you need to take care of yourself and seek counselling or something rather than trying to deal with it”. I of course scoffed at the idea. “I’m fine” I told her.

Fine – ya right – so fine that I spent the better part of an hour sitting with my chickens bawling. They promised they would not tell anyone.

NOTE that I am by no stretch of the imagination diminishing my daughters emotions/role/issues during this traumatic period – not by a mile. Just to set that record straight.

OK again – not about me – that was my moment of whining. Shout out to hubs though – the level of crazy he deals with daily – he deserves an award!

So – next steps – well we keep on with therapy and we keep on with all the love and support we have received from our family and our friends and we keep on swimming.

There are – to use the term loosely ” causes” – mental health week -mental health day but should every day not be mental health day?

Should we all not stand up and pay attention and be ever aware of how we are or how they are doing?

It’s not a phase – they will not grow out of it. It will most likely continue on into their adults lives and WE as the adults du jour have to help them.

Uggghhhh – when we (or many of the readers) were that age- we sucked it up and we dealt with it and we bottled it.

For the most part – we were all fine but we did not grow up in the age of the interweb and the body image and bully and the – the- the….

The interweb had not been invented – body image was something that was typically in a (wink wink) magazine and the bully – well we just beat the snot out of them – or had a sibling do that for us.

I’m not making excuses at all – I’m just saying/observing that while my parents had a rough and we had it rough and they have it rough – it’s cyclical and compounds with the interweb and the social media and the – the – the….

I know – I’m rambling – trying to make sense of it it all but I think that everyone will grasp what I am trying to say.

AND the adults that suffer – please please please seek help! Make a call – write a note  – stand on the friggin’ street corner and beg for help!!! PLEASE!!!

I consider us very very fortunate to have the incredible support that we do and the incredible support that my son has through an amazing program that gives him 24/7 access to anything he needs.

There are others who are not so fortunate – who struggle every day and feel hopeless, helpless, and just less.

I can say this over and over and over again – YOU – YES YOU!!! YOU are NOT worthless – YOU are NOT a failure – YOU MEAN SOMETHING TO SOMEONE!!!

YOU ARE WORTHY!!!

Shit!! crying again – excuse me please.

And breath and again.

Get help if you need it.

You are loved!

Tis April and I feel that perhaps the worst is over.

We have had a few solid days of pretty good weather – sun – not hot – minimal  rain  – time will tell.

Much has happened in the past month.

Our first chicks hatched! Finally – since March 31st – how they have grown – I promise I will post pics soon – they are now gangly and ugly – so funny- like teenagers – arms/wings too long – scraggly dressed- attitude to spare.

Visits from family – visits from friends – weekends are a blur.

I have taken on this quite odd side “job” if you will.

Hen Aprons/Saddles – seriously – google it – they are real.

So when the Rooster decides to – well – you know?? bowchickawowow – he gets quite aggressive (most men do) and his spurs on his legs can do damage to the poor hens back so they make these things called Hen Aprons/Saddles.

So – me – being the Sally Homemaker downloaded a pattern – bought some fabric and fired up my trusty (???) sewing machine.

Well my trust machines is on her last legs – she has served me well – it was my mothers – we bought it for her years ago and every time I sew with it I think of her because I know she used it and when I look in the sewing kit I see things that she touched and used – it makes my heart happy.

BUT that machine – sooo frustrating so I went out and bought myself a new – inexpensive one – and this baby hums!!!

I will take my mom’s in for a tune up and a fix up and I’ll have two as I will NEVER part with it.

My first shipment went out and apparently they fit so hey – the system works.

My good friend picked up two more today and I have 6 waiting to arrange delivery/pick up – soooo – I am going to make millions and retire!!!

My first models – Apron’s by Fitzy – need to make business cards!!!

Such is life – such is death.

It is an excellent saying in all languages.

Life came to Orange Acres this past week while I was on vacation in the form of baby chicks. Cute little fuzzy flightless descendants of velociraptors that have captured my heart.

Mama bird had a clutch of 9 – 6 hatched out healthy baby chicks – two died and we had one dud egg.

Their life begins.

Death came to Orange Acres today when our beloved pet chicken – Fitzy (Fitzgerald) passed away.

Now I know some of you may be laughing or at least smirking right now.

“It’s just a chicken” you may be thinking.

I gotta tell ya- Fitzy – she was more than just a chicken.

Fitzy (Fitzgerald) was the other half of Ella/Fitzgerald. Two beat up old hens that I got from a petting zoo.

Ella unfortunately died this past summer and Fitzy soon became a fave of mine. I would pick her up and carry her around to get the mail and we hung out and sit in the sun. We would have a glass of wine (well I would) – she would snuggle up on my lap and I would feed bits of apple or turnip and we would have a nice chat. (I’m not crazy – just for the record – my mother had me tested)

Lately she had been getting slower and thinner and I knew her time was coming.

Unfortunately – time caught up to her. Today when Hubs got home she was laying in the coop- just listless and down.

So we brought her in and put her under the heat lamp and tried to bring her back to life but it was too late. Cruel time was ticking away. Hubs and I stayed with her while she took her last breath and I held her in my arms – in the sun.

Her life ended.

Today – we are mourning the loss of Fitzy.

She was a good bird and a great friend. Fitzy was my go to bird when people wanted to “hold a chicken” – when children wanted to pet a chicken and when I wanted to just hang with a chicken.

Scoff if you will but we will hold a proper memorial for her and I will add her name to the monument with Trigger, Ella, Clyde and C2 when the weather is warmer.

I am going to miss that bird.

(pics of my daughter and Fitzy)

As anyone in my family and/or my work place would tell you – I have become slightly obessed with chickens and/or raising, feeding, watching, gathering eggs, auctions  – in a nutshell OR in this case a chicken shell – CHICKENS!!!

I love chickens – I could sit and watch them for hours.  They are vastly amusing with their own little cache system and pecking order and personalities.

For instance – Fitzy – she is my oldest hen – the “other half” of my duo – “Ella/Fitzgerald”. Ella died suddenly and left us with Fitzy. When I have company over and they wish to pet/hold a chicken – Fitzy is ready to go. She is so docile and friendly. I got her and Ella from a petting zoo. Unfortunately I feel her days are numbered so I snuggle her as often as possible.

We then of course have “Marilyn/Monroe”. An amazing duo of hens – great layers.

Maxwell  – one of our Roos – when he crows – it sounds like the theme from the Maxwell Smart show – what a handsome man he is.

I have Ivan and Olga – my Turkens (naked neck chickens) Ivan is an asshole (sorry no sugar coating that) and Olga his lady.

We recently acquired Eartha/Kitt- no photos yet – they are coming.

And then – we have the “Twins” – like the albino twins from the Matrix Movies? Come on – have  you seen that? OK well then…

It was one of the twins who went “broody” on us.

This Mama bird has sat on her clutch of eggs for 21 days – 21 DAYS!!! Rarely eating – seldom drinking – just sitting. That is dedication!!!

Hell…I have a hard time sitting through a 30 minute sitcom.

She was oh so patient and then on day 21 – I heard peeping and cheeping and out popped a little chick!!!

Don’t mind the red light – we thought we would bring it in – we moved it back out with Mama.

It was then that I found myself in full on alert Chick Watch. Checking every hour for more and more.

Today was no different of course. Like a spoilt child at Christmas – I have to open every present and lo and behold – out came more.

The WONDER of this little tiny descendant of the velociraptor – has totally captured my heart. So little – so cute with their peeping and little wings.

Fuzzy!!!

We have 5 healthy little wingless lizards.

We have 3 more eggs to hatch (fingers crossed).

We have one who did not make it and it buried out in our special place with our critters who have left Orange Acres. RIP Little One.

BUT  – we did it!!  We managed to winter our birds with little to no issue. We have successfully managed to hatch chicks.

It’s the little things. While we are not Farmers that earn our living farming – we are back yard/part time/rookies that love our farm and all our creatures.

My goal to have “all the chickens” – it’s coming!

I’m sorry but this pretty much says it all tonight!!!

The chooks are all nestled up in their tarped up wind proofed pen – the wind is just howling!!

Tomorrow – amazing weather and through the weekend.

Mother Nature was just having a hissy fit!

Friends , Romans, Farm Owners…I. AM. CALLING. IT!!!

Spring- while not official has arrived here at Orange Acres.

How do I know? I don’t actually – because quite frankly given the date – it’s not likely possible and given Mother Nature’s mood swings as of late – who knows right?

My gut – and incredibly muddy back hallway tell me that it has.

Rudy the Robin has been visiting daily.

The lane way is a mucky mess.

We have our Lake Orange gracing out front paddock – I call it Lake Orange because of the nice horse poop/urine orange tint to it. Note to hubs – we need to start pumping that out this weekend.

Sally Sump Pump has been going off every 15 minutes since I got home – yes I’ve been timing her.

The air is alive with the smell of Pepe.

I saw AND heard a massive flock of geese.

For the first time since December I’d like to say my horses are nekkid!! No blankets.

I am covered head to toe in Girl Horse hair from her shedding.

The house flies who have been dormant are starting to make their way out of the walls – yes – house flies – uggghhh.

And well – I just feel it in my bones.

Coupled with the gloriousity that is TIME CHANGE this weekend – yep – it’s here.

Let the mud season begin!!!