I’d like to first take this opportunity to apologise for begging for money for a fund raiser – but as my dear friend Audrey says – no mercy.

With that being said – here are a few things I’d like to say.

As a mother – I have been fortunate enough to have healthy children.

There is nothing more terrifying as a parent to see your child in pain or suffering.

There are so many children out there that won’t grow up to adults- there I said it – it’s out there.

There are so many children with chronic illnesses that will never live a long life – there are so many parents that will not get to see their children grow up and these parent!!! these parents are so strong!! – They soldier on – trying to squeeze as much time as humanly possible with their children – trying to cram a life time of experiences into their short little lives!!!

Ok – ok calm down – getting worked up here.

The Make a Wish foundation – https://makeawish.ca/ – is doing everything they can to make children’s dreams come true. From Disney  – to meeting a star sports figure. It is aiding in taking the financial burden off the over stressed and most likely tapped out parents.

This June 6th – I was volunteered to jump off a building – actually rappel down a building with some very good friends of mine.

Rooney Feeds in Kemptville Ontario and the proprietress Audrey Rooney has worked tirelessly for years fund raising and supporting this cause. Audrey Rooney has raised thousands for Make a Wish and this year – I am part of that team – and you know what?? I am truly honoured to be part of that team.

Audrey Rooney and Rooney Feeds is a fixture in my community of Kemptville. I am proud to be part of this community.

We moved here knowing no one – we started this farm not having much of a clue what we were doing – but we made friends and we got involved.

Our team consists of four bad ass chicks – Audrey Rooney – Manon Sparling (who I have met a few times and we bonded over lost cats and spirits) and Tasha Vaive who I have not even met yet and already feel that connection.

I promise that once this is over – life will go back to normal with non political non money begging posts but please – if you can – donate to our team – we really really want to jump.

Here is our team link – https://cause2give.unxvision.com/P2PWeb/PublicTeamPage.aspx?TeamIdView=2705&EventId=441&LanguageId=1

If the link does not work – message me.

I have a feeling that when this is all over – someone would be more than happy to push me (wink wink)

Thank you

So – one of our goals when we ventured into this was to get chickens.

We toyed with it last year but just no time to be properly set up.

Well it turns out that chickens are a lot like children – one is never ready.

I have not been actively looking to add to our herd however when an opportunity presents itself in the form of a beautiful equine that catches my eye – I’ll go take a peek.

Hubs – myself – trusty friend and valued opinion Alicia – and of course my nephew – himself – a rider of great talent packed into my truck today for the hour drive through no man’s land to look at a horse that my nephew’s friends own.

Sadly this lovely young man needs to find a home for this horse due to school and the cost of well keeping one.

I was not interested but would get details and make enquiries – that is until I saw the picture.

It is Little Horse – 15 years younger and my heart skipped a beat.

So I wanted to see him – touch him – look at his feet – his teeth – his eyes – his breathing. To have Alicia ride him – my nephew ride him and for me to see if he would stand for my silliness that I call mounting the horse doing the 7 basic ballet moves and the dismount that should only be scored like Olympic gymnasts.

Hot flash! – apologies.

I won’t lie – the horse has some issues – nothing major and corrective. A little nippy – that can be corrected – a little shy of the mounting block – that is just training – my major concern is his dominance over other horses.

We have a carefully balanced dynamic with two geldings and a mare – sometimes it works – sometimes it does not – we were lucky and it worked.

BUT would it work with another horse – one that has clear issues in that department.

Careful consideration will be applied in this decision.

But what does  this have to do with chickens?

Well – Alicia was/is getting rid of some older laying hens – we wanted bug catchers. So now I have chickens.

Kind of anti climactic.

We have 4 hens and the kickers is this big ass – fuzzy footed colourful rooster – his name is Clyde – he’s pretty cool.

So recap – still don’t know what I will do about the horse BUT now I need to learn how to take care of chickens.

Some other stuff happened this weekend – it was sunny and hot – I rode every day blah blah blah…

Little Horses name is Trigger.

I have had Trigger for going on 4 years now.

I got him when he was past his prime but we connected on some weird level.

I had not found that horse that would put up with my shenanigans in getting comfortable in the saddle. My hips are shot. I need hip replacement but I will fight tooth and nail before getting that done because it could be quite possible I may not be able to ride any more. I take pain meds when needed – visit my physio guy for really shitty and painful acupuncture  – which really works I might add to limp me through.

When Trigger came into my life – I knew his days with me were numbered. He was old and arthritic but we were just a perfect match. Both in pain – both grumpy.

A horse owner is lucky in their life to connect and bond with their mount. I have ridden many many many horses and I have bonded with but one in 1979 when I joined 4H because my Mom needed me to do something that would take me away from not being able to fit in with peers.

His name was Tashuwa Blue. He was a 19ish Quarter/Clyde Draft. I loved him so much. I would sleep in his stall and we would talk for hours. Sadly he had to put be put down a year into 4H and my heart broke. The kind people who became my second family broke the news to me gently and gave me a carnation that had a pin in it that had a fake pearl on the tip. I still have that pin.

Another mount came into my life who introduced me to the wonderful world of jumping and cross country. Her name was Velvet. She was a lease and on her I could FLY!!! While I did not bond with her the way I did with Blue – I remember her fondly for teaching me the lovely discipline of perfect synergy and trust between horse and rider.

I left her – to stupidly get married way to young and forfeit my riding. Idiot!! Ended in divorce BUT I have two beautiful children, a loving man and the life I have always dreamed of.

Trigger’s days are sadly numbered based on our vet visit this past week.

I may sound matter of fact but trust me – I am not.

Trigger will be with me for the summer – he will be brushed, ridden lightly and loved greatly in his last days.

We will make a photo album of his final days and when the times comes we will part ways.

While I could keep him medicated and drag him through another winter I am sure – I have too much respect for him to do that. He has lost weight – he is going blind and he has heaves (horse asthma).

Trigger and I made a pact- when the time came – we would both know.

Now I know and I think he knows too.

Whilst I am not a full time farmer  – nor do I claim to know a whole hell of a lot – seriously – I am making this shit up as I go – OK – not quite – I have a lot of people and resources I can draw on – I think the hardest decision a farmer – whether full time or weekend has to make is when to let go.

If you have read the bulk of my blog – you know how much I love my life here. The comings and goings – the early mornings and late nights – the cold- hot – rainy – sunny blah blah blah blah blah.

You know my herd. Big Horse, Little Horse and Girl Horse. Our family.

You also know that I/We love animals.

Big, small, winged, horse, cows, birds, CATS!!! – we love them all.

Little Horse – Little Horse is, I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt, is one of the main reasons we bought this place.

When I got Little Horse – I swore that this would his last home. Not knowing but suspecting he has had a less than stellar life prior to Orange Acre- I swore – nay – I promised myself and him that – no matter what – I would never sell him – give him away or re-home him. He would die with me. I have and always will be steadfast in that.

Little Horse got ME back in the saddle again. After many years of being away from the one thing that I was really and truly gifted at – he helped me see that again.

Sadly – Little Horse’s body is failing him. His spirit is so strong – but his body is weak.

Little Horse is 30ish – who knows. He is tired and sore and going blind I am sure. He is losing weight.

Every year – I say “just one more winter, please just let him make it through the winter.” AND every year he does. Comes into spring unscathed and fat.

This year is different. I always knew that I would know when it was time. I know now that is is time.

The vet will make his yearly visit for shots and check ups and dental work. We will consult and then I will make the decision.

While I would love to have someone make the decision for me- this decision is mine and mine alone.

There is no input from Hubs – it is not his decision to make. We consult on all issues major however, not this time.

Little Horse is my best friend. I know every twitch of his ears and facial expression. He only bites me (smile). He greets me every morning and when I get home.

I hate this part.

Well – my friends – it has arrived!

Spring and not just the official date of spring but the weather – ahhh – the weather!!

Today was a glorious day! – warm and sunny with a slight breeze made the ritual shedding of the horse magical! – Hair -flying in the breeze – wow.

Naked horses – basking in the sun – could not have asked for a better day.

This could be a little heavy – sorry.

We all have to make some pretty shitty choices in life.

Should I take that job – should I quit my job and find another – should I marry that person – should I divorce that person.

I have been faced with all of the above at one point or another and while it genuinely sucked at the time of the choice – it all worked out for the best in the end.

Taking one job inevitably leads to a better job – marrying that person – while not inevitably – can lead to divorce.

Experiencing the latter in life was one of the hardest choices I have ever had to make. It was painful -heartbreaking and life altering. It made me doubt myself as a human being – as a parent and as a woman – however – while it was the hardest choice – it was unarguably one of the best choices I have ever made.

Had I not married – I would not have two wonderful children. Had I not divorced I probably would not be writing this post and experiencing this life that allows me to write this post.

When my children were younger – I essentially made their major choices for them but now that they are grown – I tell them to make the choices that feel right for them.

I cannot tell them what to do any more – Lord knows I do try (smile) – but in the end – be it a good choice or a poor choice – they need to know that no matter what choice – we back them 100%.

My daughter has not lived at home in over 6 years now. She still comes to be for advice – which is always free to take or not – but it is always there – I go to her for advice – which she gives freely and objectively and I can choose to take it or not. While we will always be mother and daughter – she is my closest friend and confidant and will always have a room in our home if need be. (FYI – tick tick tick – I need to make your room into a closet).

My son is on the verge of leaving us. He is halfway out the door and while it pains me to see that other foot moving closer to the exit – I am excited for his life and all that it will bring to him.

He will make poor choices – he will make good choices – he will experience pain and he will experience joy. My son is my silly best friend. He and I have the most wonderful conversations about music and the zombie apocalypse and how our home is a fortress and we bond over candy and life and can talk just about anything. While we will always be mother and son – he will always be my baby. (sorry dude). While he claims he fought for the “good” room – he knows I gave him the good room. Now when he leaves he will always have a room too but not that one – I want that one back!!

Choices in life are tough – I like to think that I raised them well – that we raised them well and that the knowledge and values we have instilled in them will allow them to instill those in their children and it will guide them into making the right choices.

Charles, Alicia, Rudy, Reba, Gary, Greta – they are all back!!!

OK – let me explain.

Charles and Alicia are my resident cardinals – for some reason they have been around much this winter – but they sure are active in cleaning out my bird feeders now.

Gary and Greta, I am so happy to see them!!! Our Canadian Geese are starting to return in massive flocks with their honking and crappy all over everything!!

Imagine my co-workers surprise when I checked a text from Hubs on my phone and ran outside to look at the sky!

They are used to me doing that partially because I love to hear the fighter jets fly over when they are touring around but I am standing out in the middle of the parking lot – eyes trained to the horizon – waiting to catch a glimpse of our errant geese who left us last fall and they certainly did not disappoint! – Flap, flap, flap – honk, honk, honk- music to my ears.

But the capper on my day – the absolute true joy that turned this craptacular – double chocolate chip frappucino/brownie lunch day from hell was seeing Rudy and Reba.

Rudy and Reba are extra special to me!! – They are our Robins!! – I have not seen them in months – and Robin’s are a sure sign of spring.

Hubs and I were filling the water troughs and I knew I heard one and then Hubs pointed at the big maple tree and I saw them – 6 of them – I ran down the driveway yelling – “RUDY!!! WELCOME HOME”!!! Like a maniac – I even got a little teary.

Spring – oh glorious spring – I am so happy you are here. Go ahead and rain!!! April showers and all that stuff – turn my paddocks into mud pits – I don’t care – more to write about.

NOW – all I need are Squiggy the Squirrel – Chippy the Chipmunk and the Bat Parade to start and I know that this season of wet feet and cold hands is done!!!

My day started shitty but sure ended great!

I am so not political – nor am I religious by nature.

I tend to me more spiritual and typically keep my opinions to myself.

Every one in a while I jump on my soap box and hope that on some level I can make a difference on this spinning ball.

So I’ll keep this short with some thoughts – musings – what have you.

Life = Adversity…

I myself have been no stranger to adversity in my years on this planet. Married too young – children too young  = Life. Separated with two young children too young – faced with an insurmountable and not deserved I might add mountain of debt = Adversity.

I worked 3 jobs – I paid off the mountain and took control of my life. Life – 1 – Adversity – 0.

Flash forward – many years. Child one – a fire cracker and outgoing. Starting to experience the dance of Life = Adversity. The song has not ended for her dance yet – but I know my girl – I think I taught her well – she will finish that dance with a flourish and if not – she will cue up the music and start dancing again.

Child Two- sigh – Child Two – same dance – different music. I have always said that Child Two has a song playing in his head and only he can hear it. Every once in a while I catch a few riffs of it – but it is few and far between. He is just learning that Life = Adversity and I pray he is ready for that bitch!

Whatever song the Children choose to dance to – I am sure it will be epic!

Adversity = Life…

What would our  lives be without challenge?

Would we go about our merry ways never worrying about money, children, food, paying our bills etc etc etc? or would we all curl up on deck chairs – like in that movie WallE -(FYI one of my faves) having a muffin in a cup while everyone does everything for us on some giant Axiom  never thinking – never doing?

WHOA!!! Heavy!

Life = Adversity and Adversity = Life…it’s interesting.

On a side note – would you rather fight a horse sized duck or 6 duck sized horses?? I’ll let you think about that for awhile. Answer if you wish or not.

Winter – please go away – I’m asking quite nicely.

I’d like to go to be able to just go outside without having to do the 5 basic ballet moves getting into the Farmer Jane coveralls.

I’d like to go outside without having to don my cammo skull toque wrecking my perfectly coiffed hair and making it all fuzzy and staticky!!!

I’d like the wind to NOT smear perfectly applied make up.

I’d like to go outside with bare hands so I can actually feel the picker and not have it slip through my double gloved/mitted hands.

I’d like to not have to trip and roll over poop balls like walking on marbles.

I’d like my feet to be dry and warm.

I’d like to see Rudy the Robin flitting around and singing to me.

I’d like to NOT do the Canadian Break Dance moves walking to the paddock.

I’d really like to skip right over the muddy season and go right to nice dry footing to ride fat horses and get them in shape for this season.

I’d like to not waste gas warming up my truck.

I’d like to wear shorts and bitch and moan about the buggy season that is impending.

I want to see the Parade of Bats – bonfires- smell the dead worms and dog poop smell of Spring.

I want to sit outside until 9pm and grumble about the mosquitos.

I want to feel the warmth of the sun on bare arms and legs and get a nice summer glow.

So – if it is not too much trouble – Winter – kindly piss off!!!

Thank you!

Finally – my favourite day of the year has arrive – Spring ahead!!!

So what – we lose an hour sleep – your body will adjust – the days are longer people!!!

It was positively magical – going out at 715 and it was like almost light outside – what is this witch craft??

What a day!!! – What a weekend!!!

So – truck – my truck is 7k away from it’s warranty ending and well – I have had so much trouble with her that I just know that once I roll 100k – KABOOM!!! – so I decided to ditch her and go to a new one. It’s all pending paperwork (financing of course) fingers crossed my friends – I can pick her up Tuesday just in time for a work road trip!!!

What else? What else??

Oh yes – picked up the last of our hay until next cut – that was fun. NOT!!! – OK – so picking up in 60 bale increments is a pain in the ass BUT I thought for sure the ass end of hubs truck was going to tear off pulling that hay wagon!! He was all “it’s OK – it’s normal” freaked my right out!! Note to self – you are NOT capable of pulling a trailer. Hell I had a hard enough time driving back from Kingston with a Queen mattress strapped to the roof rack!! Some farmer I make!

And then of course there is the inevitable unloading of the hay. 60 bales is OK – but 184!!! We had to stop – my shoulder was starting to give out so we tarped the rest.

And WTF was with the weather today!!! – snowing – cloudy – sunny – warm – blizzard – sunny – warm – snowy – pick a frigging season!! I don’t need like 5 in one day.

Topper on the cake – drove in the driveway – hit a rut AND SLIDE – ditched the truck – nothing major – Hubs had her out in a tick but I forgot to take a picture.

What a weekend!!!

BONUS – Star Trek Marathon all weekend – yea us!

FYI – I keep springing ahead – but not much is happening – maybe tomorrow!